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Thread: Poison Kiss; Gestures of Romance

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Poison Kiss; Gestures of Romance

    She came in and suddenly
    made it hard to breath.
    She made me want to touch
    and to get involved

    Those unnamed feelings hiding
    had quickly earned a name.
    No longer simmering underneath
    they marched to the surface

    She always made a move
    but only went halfway,
    left that lingering instance
    where I was in control

    Before I seized the chance
    she flew away again.
    Only to come back
    with her poison kisses

    She breaks me day by day
    Until I could be nothing.
    Yet she picks me up again
    with a fleeting smile

    As time passes
    we will grow apart.
    (But) Until I am truly nothing,
    her lips will be there, gesturing.

    ---
    Well, another /love/ poem put forth for examination. Hopefully this one has flow or rhyme/rhythm... or both><>

    So as they say, enjoy.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  2. #2
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Poison Kiss; Gestures of Romance

    Wow....you did a fantastic job on this poem....
    I can almost imagine the things that you are describing in your verses.....
    The words are very poetic and descriptive...
    Great job!!!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: Poison Kiss; Gestures of Romance

    Quote Originally Posted by FLawEdmiNd View Post
    She always made a move
    but only went halfway,
    left that lingering instance
    where I was in control

    Before I seized the chance
    she flew away again.

    I really like this line. This type of thing happens all the time, I've even done it. Your words make for the perfect image. I liked the poem over all. It flowed nicely and sounded good. I also liked the last stanza. It's sad but very true. Good job.

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