+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Poisonous insanity

  1. #1
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Poisonous insanity

    my envy towards my friends...my anger towards my life...my sadness and my loneliness... they all went together in a big combo of poison...
    killing me slowly...it may taste like honey but sometimes bitter and spoiled...

    Coughs...blood..i am caughing out blood..alive red thick gooish blood...a second later it is no more in sight... laughs hysterically...holding my head...perssing it in...all this crazy thoughts...wanting to come...it hurts.. THE PAIN~!!! THE THROBBING PAIN~!!

    My eye sight...blurr...my thoughts...fading...my heart...thumping...faster and faster...hurts me at the same time... and then a long beat...it hurts...and gradually it slows down...to normal..slower...till it is no more...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  2. #2
    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Under The Sea, Florida
    Posts
    1,533
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Poisonous insanity

    This is nice Rayme though I would have loved to seen it written differently then it was and not so may periods. Also some of the words can be changed to something else like combo could be changed to batch or something like that. Experiment use a thesaurus. Be more creative, though your creativity is awesome good job and keep up the work.
    ™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™


    Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!

  3. #3
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Life is an illusion.
    Posts
    2,429
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts

    Re: Poisonous insanity

    Is it a poem? It sounds more like a mini fanfic Nonetheless I like the imagery used. Good job!

  4. #4
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In a Demon's Arms
    Posts
    1,875
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Poisonous insanity

    I like this really much too, very interesting... I adore the way you express these feelings... in few simple words... Nice work!!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  5. #5
    Commander Ham Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Winston Salem, NC
    Posts
    1,887
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 84 Times in 68 Posts

    Re: Poisonous insanity

    Quote Originally Posted by Rave_Grip View Post
    Is it a poem? It sounds more like a mini fanfic Nonetheless I like the imagery used. Good job!
    It is called a lyrical poem, if a poem follows more of a story then an abstract concept then it is referred to as lyrical.

    I will say that you need to add more structure to this poem. The ellipses (...) are fine and you should use them as breaks for your lines IMO other then that it didn't speak to me that much...I will read it again later once I have woken up more.


  6. #6
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: Poisonous insanity

    whoa? lyrical poem... i never heard that b4.. i just let it all out last night in 1 big go @.@

    sheesh.. i really need to learn more about poems,... never made any poems like this..

    Thx guys

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. My Insanity
    By flaminghate in forum Poems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Feb 12, 2007, 10:26 AM
  2. Her Insanity
    By HieisLove in forum Poems
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Sep 22, 2006, 10:25 AM
  3. Perfect Insanity
    By Othello in forum Poems
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Sep 20, 2006, 09:40 PM
  4. Insanity??
    By Drkduality in forum Debate and Discuss
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: Jun 05, 2006, 10:22 AM
  5. insanity realm
    By dark angel swordsman in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Apr 28, 2005, 05:42 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts