pop tarts

my poem :rolleyes:

blast! another shiet starts
it was like eating pop tarts

i got nothing to loose
few options to choose

but i gotta do it
then i say **** this shiet

but in the end, i am back to the start
haha, it was like eating a pop tart

Very original name for a poem! The title drew me in and I had to read it! Good job!

BlueFox1

very origanel i have to say lol i like this never thought poptarts
could be desrbed like that . very cool poem

I'm not getting the relation to pop tarts.

i dont care, if u dont get it...i dont relly giva damn

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wangwang

i dont care, if u dont get it...i dont relly giva damn

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You obviously care what other people think of your work, correct? Otherwise you wouldnt be posting in a damn public forum. I'm trying to be bloody nice and give you critique.

If you want those damn "omg, u write really good! u should write more!" kind of shit, you're not getting it from me. Respect what I have to say, and I will respect yours.

That's all the hell I'm asking from you.

And you know what? You should give a damn about how your work is viewed by readers. Obviously, you're not making any sense in your wording and you should work on that. You know why? When you're 30 years old and all you can write is poptarts and no relation to poetry? Think on that.

Should actually want to get more education and learn more about what you're doing.

I must agree with Sempai, this poem, doesn't have any meaning at all, I don't understand what was going on, and what exactly it had to do with poptarts. I'm a writer, not the best, but I try, and writing takes practice beleive it or not, and if you want to get better at your writing, please, join the poem and fanfic clan n.n

Did you get drunk before you typed this? I think you did.....you need to work on your spelling. I think this poem is about takin a shit(correct spelling).....at least that is what the lines tell me it's about......Get sober for minute man!