+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: pop tarts

  1. #1
    Newbie wangwang may be famous one day wangwang may be famous one day wangwang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    pop tarts

    my poem

    blast! another shiet starts
    it was like eating pop tarts

    i got nothing to loose
    few options to choose

    but i gotta do it
    then i say **** this shiet

    but in the end, i am back to the start
    haha, it was like eating a pop tart
    Last edited by wangwang; Sep 12, 2006 at 09:12 AM.

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    Very original name for a poem! The title drew me in and I had to read it! Good job!

    BlueFox1

  3. #3
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    someplace where the only light is the moon above
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 70 Times in 64 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    very origanel i have to say lol i like this never thought poptarts
    could be desrbed like that . very cool poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    I'm not getting the relation to pop tarts.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    Newbie wangwang may be famous one day wangwang may be famous one day wangwang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    i dont care, if u dont get it...i dont relly giva damn

  6. #6
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    Quote Originally Posted by wangwang View Post
    i dont care, if u dont get it...i dont relly giva damn
    You obviously care what other people think of your work, correct? Otherwise you wouldnt be posting in a damn public forum. I'm trying to be bloody nice and give you critique.

    If you want those damn "omg, u write really good! u should write more!" kind of shit, you're not getting it from me. Respect what I have to say, and I will respect yours.

    That's all the hell I'm asking from you.

    And you know what? You should give a damn about how your work is viewed by readers. Obviously, you're not making any sense in your wording and you should work on that. You know why? When you're 30 years old and all you can write is poptarts and no relation to poetry? Think on that.

    Should actually want to get more education and learn more about what you're doing.
    Seduced by Flesh


  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku N.Y._Soulja may be famous one day N.Y._Soulja may be famous one day N.Y._Soulja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    603
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    I must agree with Sempai, this poem, doesn't have any meaning at all, I don't understand what was going on, and what exactly it had to do with poptarts. I'm a writer, not the best, but I try, and writing takes practice beleive it or not, and if you want to get better at your writing, please, join the poem and fanfic clan n.n
    You should stop talking about your dreams, and start making them.

    http://kuv319.tumblr.com/

    There is something so human in the desire to never give up, while at the same time, never giving it your all?

  8. #8
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Nowhere, Yet Somewhere....
    Posts
    1,531
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 45 Times in 41 Posts

    Re: pop tarts

    Did you get drunk before you typed this? I think you did.....you need to work on your spelling. I think this poem is about takin a shit(correct spelling).....at least that is what the lines tell me it's about......Get sober for minute man!
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts