Lord I believe in you (believe in you)
Waiting for us in heaven (in heave)
You can hear us (hear us)
Watching over us 24/7 (24/7)
Your right about humanity
Thou shall not kill
Other's think this is insanity
But I follow your will
I am a catholic
I wish to pray
Only to you lord
Each and every day
In name of the father
and the holy ghost
Do I need more work on this? or is this good?
It's good. Though it's like a prayer the end just sort of ended. It started out good and flowed together, but then it just ended. I wanted to keep reading ^_^ But it was still good. Can't wait to read more.
Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.
Well...this time I'm kind of confused... I don't really understand what you mean with the second stranza...
In other ways it's good, I like the theme, you've written it nicely too... It wasnice to read it...
The second stanza means, moses made the laws of thou shall not kill, and I follow the lord's will lol. and thanks Lasura for trying to figure out this poem, as I am still working on it.
i like it. i especially noticed how u made the first stanza echo. everything went together perfectly, in my opinion
@ENY: lol thanks mei, I appreciate it, and I like the beginning too
@Lasura: it's all right, I had a hard time figuring out the second stanza, but I remember some movies that knew the lords will, so I put that on there, and it is kind a backwards isn't it?
I don't believe you need to work on this, my friend .. that was a wonderful poem ... ^^
I'm in love with the BEST guy ever! I love YOU baby!!