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Thread: Pretending Perfection

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Pretending Perfection

    I did not want to post this. I think it is possibly my worst work ever . . . but my sister threatened to post embarrassing baby pictures of me on the Internet unless I did . . . SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . . .

    Pretending Perfection (for lack of a better title)
    By: divine_punishment

    Her friends pretended not to notice
    The long-sleeved jumpers,
    The extra layer of make-up,
    The flesh-coloured bandages.
    She had the perfect body.

    Her neighbours pretended not to hear
    The shattering of glass,
    The constant shouting,
    The quiet sobs of desperation.
    She had the perfect home.

    Her parents pretended not to see
    How tightly he held her arm,
    How seldom she smiled,
    How she jumped when he said her name.
    She had the perfect husband.

    She pretended that it didn't matter
    How many times he hit her,
    How many tears she spilled,
    How many bones were broken.
    She lived the perfect lie.

    And when the funeral announcement came . . .
    Everybody pretended it had gotten lost in the mail
    And only the lilies gazed on her perfection.
    Last edited by divine_punishment; Nov 23, 2007 at 11:11 PM.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Pretending Perfection

    Definately not your worst... I appreciated it. It told a story, and it was such an accurate description of what happens when people are subject to abuse. I only wish somehow there would have been a bit more emotion... But admitedly I'm not sure how you would go about doing so. Perhaps a stanza about the abused woman.... her feelings... How did SHE pretend? What was she telling herself that prevented her from leaving before it was too late?
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Pretending Perfection

    I added a stanza about her, but I don't think it conveys the message well enough . . . Thank you for the advice.

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