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Thread: Rain of Defeat

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Rain of Defeat

    Do you ever wonder why thunder calls?
    Why lightening strikes, and the rain does fall?
    Ever think it’s falling just for you?
    A lit sky fades, to gray from blue.

    Too sooth your mood, the air is cold.
    To match that of your lonely soul.
    The bird's song ceases. The thunder is loud.
    Sunshine hides behind blackened clouds.

    Just as your hopes and dreams must cower,
    When the thick fog of defeat does tower.
    Falling to your knees, you're at its mercy.
    And, all your progress made...... Reversing.

    The rainfall dampens you with disgrace.
    And, disguises tears upon your face.
    Does the creator feel defeated too?
    All knowing eyes upon me, and you.

    Because we sell our souls to grief and pain.
    Submitting to each drop of rain.
    Ah ha! Reality is deceiving.
    Is a truth so ugly worth believing?

    Reaping horrid effects from another’s causes,
    Does not permit lamenting loses.
    Hell hath no fury like a human scorned.
    Yet, there’s a calm in every storm.

    Dark clouds will part. The sun must peek.
    Defeated souls may still not seek.
    The warmth. The light. ’Tis meant to guide.
    Revealing hopes once forced to hide.

    Defeated souls will still feel lost.
    For all they know, is falling drops.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Otaku Inuruto is off to a good start Inuruto's Avatar
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    Re: Rain of Defeat

    *Applauds you* This is truly a well written poem with much questions that has no answers, but the feelings itself answers them all... I myself can say that the weather has been the same at time with my mood sometimes... Just like when the weather fades sometimes your emotions don't... That's why when it tends to pour down you want to feel like the earth is feeling the pain you feel & when the sun comes out it is letting you know brighter days come after a storm ^_^... (At least that is what I tend to think when I feel like that)...

    This is an awesome poem... If I was a judge this would be recommended for potm & I see why the other one had won it was very unique & caught the feelings of how people judge ones' self when insecurity comes into play... (just thought I should mention)...

    Keep up the great work!!!

  3. #3
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Rain of Defeat

    ^^ whoo..agrees with inuruto... this deserves applauds.. *applauds* keep up the good work... love the how the poem goes... full of emotions there..

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Rain of Defeat

    I have to agree with the other two. This is fantastically written. It flows perfectly and the wording is supurb. I love it. And I thinkit's probably one of your best works. Absolutely beautiful. I love the rain...

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  5. #5
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
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    Re: Rain of Defeat

    WOW!! Peach I understand what you wrote into your poem. I see how mood's can change with the weather. There are so many question in this that at sometimes they are being answer with how the weather has change. Never nicely done. keep up with the good work.

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    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Rain of Defeat

    Awesome pawsome!!!!!!
    I loved how you interpret nature into this one!!!
    Great job!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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