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Thread: Random, cheesy school poem..

  1. #1
    Newbie longtailedmonkey may be famous one day longtailedmonkey may be famous one day longtailedmonkey's Avatar
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    Talking Random, cheesy school poem..

    School,
    a place where fools,
    try to rule,
    thinking they are cool,

    If you have one mishaped tooth,
    they stare at you,
    glare at you,
    make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

    If your grades are good,
    they try to ride on you,
    if your grades are "whoops!",
    you'll be used.

    You try to speak,
    but nobody hears,
    cause you're a geek,
    nobody cares about your tears.

    This place was for learning,
    it is now sick,
    you can't learn anything,
    except how dogs lick.

    Change school
    which is cruel,
    making kids lose,
    all their childhood.

    That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

    Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better , good one that one.

  2. #2
    x._Loveless.Murder_.x Aiora may be famous one day Aiora may be famous one day Aiora's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    Quote Originally Posted by longtailedmonkey View Post
    School,
    a place where fools,
    try to rule,
    thinking they are cool,

    If you have one mishaped tooth,
    they stare at you,
    glare at you,
    make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

    If your grades are good,
    they try to ride on you,
    if your grades are "whoops!",
    you'll be used.

    You try to speak,
    but nobody hears,
    cause you're a geek,
    nobody cares about your tears.

    This place was for learning,
    it is now sick,
    you can't learn anything,
    except how dogs lick.

    Change school
    which is cruel,
    making kids lose,
    all their childhood.

    That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

    Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better , good one that one.
    lol i like it very good ^_^ not to bad at all


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  3. #3
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    Another time where I stumble upon a "good" poem in my opinion. Easy to understand, fun to read. It almost reminds me of a rap song heh.

    'Cause you give me something / That makes me scared, alright / This could be nothing / But I'm willing to give it a try / Please give me something
    'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    Nice use of the rhyme technique.
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  5. #5
    Newbie Ninja_Amaya is off to a good start Ninja_Amaya's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    good poem, i enjoyed it. Not bad all. It's very true as well. good job. bravo!

  6. #6
    Decapitation?DontBePicky! Raimann may be famous one day Raimann may be famous one day Raimann's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    yes, i wanna agree with pyo. even tho the rhyming scheme is very simple, its not extremely complicated and the lines are fun and short. this poem reminds me when i was on my first day of my new skool with uniforms. the kids wore the summer uniforms (polo, shorts) and i wore the concert unifrom (tuxedo-ish) and i was soo embarrassed but i wasnt alone :lol:


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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    Quote Originally Posted by longtailedmonkey View Post
    School,
    a place where fools,
    try to rule,
    thinking they are cool,

    If you have one mishaped tooth,
    they stare at you,
    glare at you,
    make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

    If your grades are good,
    they try to ride on you,
    if your grades are "whoops!",
    you'll be used.

    You try to speak,
    but nobody hears,
    cause you're a geek,
    nobody cares about your tears.

    This place was for learning,
    it is now sick,
    you can't learn anything,
    except how dogs lick.

    Change school
    which is cruel,
    making kids lose,
    all their childhood.

    That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

    Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better , good one that one.
    I think you may have forced the rhyme scheme a bit too much. Keep trying, though!

  8. #8
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Random, cheesy school poem..

    The technique of the poem is great, just it seems a little forced! Overall a good job on the poem! Keep up the good work!

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