Random, cheesy school poem..

longtailedmonkey · Jan 24, 2007, 07:49 AM

School,
a place where fools,
try to rule,
thinking they are cool,

If you have one mishaped tooth,
they stare at you,
glare at you,
make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

If your grades are good,
they try to ride on you,
if your grades are "whoops!",
you'll be used.

You try to speak,
but nobody hears,
cause you're a geek,
nobody cares about your tears.

This place was for learning,
it is now sick,
you can't learn anything,
except how dogs lick.

Change school
which is cruel,
making kids lose,
all their childhood.

That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better

, good one that one.

Aiora · Jan 24, 2007, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longtailedmonkey

School,
a place where fools,
try to rule,
thinking they are cool,

If you have one mishaped tooth,
they stare at you,
glare at you,
make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

If your grades are good,
they try to ride on you,
if your grades are "whoops!",
you'll be used.

You try to speak,
but nobody hears,
cause you're a geek,
nobody cares about your tears.

This place was for learning,
it is now sick,
you can't learn anything,
except how dogs lick.

Change school
which is cruel,
making kids lose,
all their childhood.

That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better

, good one that one.

lol i like it very good

^_^ not to bad at all

*Legend* · Jan 24, 2007, 12:41 PM

Another time where I stumble upon a "good" poem in my opinion. Easy to understand, fun to read. It almost reminds me of a rap song heh.

*Kasai* · Jan 24, 2007, 02:32 PM

Nice use of the rhyme technique.

Ninja_Amaya · Jan 24, 2007, 03:49 PM

good poem, i enjoyed it. Not bad all. It's very true as well. good job. bravo!

Raimann · Jan 24, 2007, 06:29 PM

yes, i wanna agree with pyo. even tho the rhyming scheme is very simple, its not extremely complicated and the lines are fun and short. this poem reminds me when i was on my first day of my new skool with uniforms. the kids wore the summer uniforms (polo, shorts) and i wore the concert unifrom (tuxedo-ish) and i was soo embarrassed but i wasnt alone :lol:

*divine_punishment* · Jan 24, 2007, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longtailedmonkey

School,
a place where fools,
try to rule,
thinking they are cool,

If you have one mishaped tooth,
they stare at you,
glare at you,
make you feel like you're dirty as soot.

If your grades are good,
they try to ride on you,
if your grades are "whoops!",
you'll be used.

You try to speak,
but nobody hears,
cause you're a geek,
nobody cares about your tears.

This place was for learning,
it is now sick,
you can't learn anything,
except how dogs lick.

Change school
which is cruel,
making kids lose,
all their childhood.

That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings.

Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better

, good one that one.

I think you may have forced the rhyme scheme a bit too much. Keep trying, though!

BlueFox1 · Jan 25, 2007, 02:14 AM

The technique of the poem is great, just it seems a little forced! Overall a good job on the poem! Keep up the good work!

Jan 24, 2007, 07:49 AM	#1 (permalink)
longtailedmonkey Newbie Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 20 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 20	Random, cheesy school poem.. School, a place where fools, try to rule, thinking they are cool, If you have one mishaped tooth, they stare at you, glare at you, make you feel like you're dirty as soot. If your grades are good, they try to ride on you, if your grades are "whoops!", you'll be used. You try to speak, but nobody hears, cause you're a geek, nobody cares about your tears. This place was for learning, it is now sick, you can't learn anything, except how dogs lick. Change school which is cruel, making kids lose, all their childhood. That's something randomly cheesy and simple that my weird brain thought of, laugh if you can, look away if you can't, thankies for reading, forgive all mispellings. Oh yeah, and weird vocabulary I have but aaaa, it's just random.... It was inspired by another school poem which was way better , good one that one.
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Jan 24, 2007, 12:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
Legend Bring home the gold! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Sharks Territory Posts: 4,488 Thanks: 38 Thanked 45 Times in 43 Posts Credits: 71,890	Re: Random, cheesy school poem.. Another time where I stumble upon a "good" poem in my opinion. Easy to understand, fun to read. It almost reminds me of a rap song heh. __________________ AO is looking a lot like WCW.
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Jan 24, 2007, 02:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: Random, cheesy school poem.. Nice use of the rhyme technique. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Jan 24, 2007, 03:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ninja_Amaya Newbie Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 51 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 1,478	Re: Random, cheesy school poem.. good poem, i enjoyed it. Not bad all. It's very true as well. good job. bravo! __________________
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Jan 24, 2007, 06:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
Raimann Decapitation?DontBePicky! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 660 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 7,854	Re: Random, cheesy school poem.. yes, i wanna agree with pyo. even tho the rhyming scheme is very simple, its not extremely complicated and the lines are fun and short. this poem reminds me when i was on my first day of my new skool with uniforms. the kids wore the summer uniforms (polo, shorts) and i wore the concert unifrom (tuxedo-ish) and i was soo embarrassed but i wasnt alone :lol: __________________ Want Credits Fast? Love The Thrill Of Gambling? Then Come On Down And See For Yourself! http://www.animeonline.net/f5/nfl-football-31440/
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Jan 25, 2007, 02:14 AM	#8 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: Random, cheesy school poem.. The technique of the poem is great, just it seems a little forced! Overall a good job on the poem! Keep up the good work! __________________
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