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Reply With QuoteHmm. Thanks for the breaks. but now you have to work on the flow of the poem. Everything went down hill on the 4th stanza. The beat changed and messed me all up. Rather, I should say the meter changed. The stanzas got smaller. T_T
I'ma Renegade.
Never been afraid
to say wats on my mind
cuz what I gotta say
is wat I gotta say.
But I don't play
I'll stay head on every god damn day.
All's done, and I've got not a thing to say
Don't look at me and say hey.
Life ain't the same.
Its all gone
The sh!t changed
but hey!
here's Mr. Don't Give a F*ck
to tell you the truth you suck,
not worth a buck,
not a second thought
You're a joke,
not worth a smoke.
Just get away
go on sway
...
In the end I'm right.
I'll never die without a fight.
So have at you!
Come en guarde!
You old tard!
The day's coming,
and we'll keep gunnin
lets do it
cock it
pop it
show it
load it
shoot!
hurry or death'll give you the boot
You should stop talking about your dreams, and start making them.
http://kuv319.tumblr.com/
There is something so human in the desire to never give up, while at the same time, never giving it your all?
Hmm. Thanks for the breaks. but now you have to work on the flow of the poem. Everything went down hill on the 4th stanza. The beat changed and messed me all up. Rather, I should say the meter changed. The stanzas got smaller. T_T
Seduced by Flesh
Nice poem man, but your 5th stanza didn't rhyme at all, but still it was a great poem.
I especially liked this part for some reason. Very nice poem, I get how you feel.Originally Posted by N.Y._Soulja
A white rose no longer alone
I know who's heart it is to represent
I didn't pick it, but i let it grow
For he's the one that's heaven sent. : I love you, my White Rose.: The Poop Forums
yeathis sounds like some rap songs...
kewl ^_^ Although I didn't get what it meant...when u read it....
I don't think the stanza's an issue. Everyone has their own way and style....so yeah....nice job ^^
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