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Thread: Re-awoken pain

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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re-awoken pain

    For months you thought it was gone,
    For weeks you were happy without a doubt,
    For days on end you smiled and laughed with friends,

    Now at the dawn of a new year, it returns.
    The one who caused it has ventured back,
    The memories of their betrayal to their word strong.

    However, you cant wait to talk with that person,
    The cause of this grief, you wait for them to get on,
    But once they do, the pain is back.

    All your attempts to hide it, all the barriers you constructed,
    They all have failed and now you lash at your friends.
    Friends who have been there, helped you, and cared,

    You push them away knowing your going to hate it later.
    No matter how many times they come back to you,
    You still push them away, Why is there a reason?

    A reason for pushing them back,
    A reason for them returning,
    Why? you ask yourself as you drown in darkness.


    Hey all sorry about the sudden return of poems but I have had this one in construction in my mind for a while. Please tell me what you think of it.
    Last edited by Ichigo_06; Jan 16, 2008 at 08:11 AM.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    Wow... I have experienced the feeling you convey here.... SO... MANY....TIMES!
    It is always so exhausting when you think your okay, then the pain creeps back up to bite you in the ass. Well, It was nice to come across this poem. Good job.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Ichigo_06 (Jan 15, 2008)

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    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    This poem is excellent Ichigo......
    The title goes perfect with the content of the poem......
    and even though the rhythm is a bit off....you still manage to portray your feelings well....
    nice job!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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    Ichigo_06 (Jan 15, 2008)

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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    Thank you both of you for taking the time out to read my poems, however this was a random and a quick make up. I appreciate all feed back I get.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    Quote Originally Posted by Ichigo_06 View Post
    All your attempts to hide it, all the barriers you constructed,
    They all have failed and now you lash at your friends.
    Friends who have been there, helped you, and cared,
    I liked what you had to say in this one. I also like this stanza. I think everyone has done this once or twice in their life time. You showed alot of feelings in this one. Though the flow was abit off, it wasn't that far off to throw the whole poem off. You need to work alittle bit more on the flow of things, just a tweak here and there will give you what you need. Good job.

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    Ichigo_06 (Jan 18, 2008)

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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    Yeah sometimes we do things more than others, well I am glad you took the time to read my work there fire, I will be sure to post another one soon, and I will look into those changes too.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    Re: Re-awoken pain

    this poem really shows how
    anger when its held back can
    really hurt those its nit intended
    to hurt but in the moment screw
    there feelings becuase its about you.

    it sound like the right thing to do
    at the time and it is if you can live
    with the emptyness it brings when they
    finaly walk away and dont come back.

    very awesome poem the anger your
    showing here is really something i like it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Ichigo_06 (Jan 27, 2008)

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