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Thread: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

  1. #1
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    We stand on the edge,
    We stand together during the 11th hour,
    We train for the gruesome battle ahead,
    We stand in the eye of the storm.

    We dread their coming,
    We deny their existence,
    We shut ourselves from the world,
    Yet we must be brave and stand up against it.

    We must fight it and triumphed over it,
    We must look in it the eye and shout,
    "Hell hath no fury like mine"
    We must take up arms and fight.
    For the hour of Reckoning is upon us,
    This will decide our futures.

    A short one this time and yes this is abt the dreaded exams. Enjoy it, comment on it plz and Good Luck to everyone on their examinations.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

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    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    "Hell hath no fury like mine"

    We stand on the edge,
    Standing together during the 11th hour,
    We've trained for the gruesome battle ahead,
    Yet we stand in the eye of the storm.

    We dread their coming,
    Dening their existence,
    We've closed ourselves off from the world,
    Yet we must be brave and stand up against it.

    We must fought it and triumphed over it,
    Dying it must look us in the eye and shout,
    We've taken up arms and fought.
    Yet the hour of Reckoning is upon us,
    This has decided our futures.


    I reworded it some... u had alot of errors lol.
    How do you like this version?
    It has more word flow, ur sentence structure was kinda weird. Also i removed that one line that DIDNT fit in the poem at all and made it the title which seems better situated...


    dont be mad at me T_T
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

  3. #3
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    wow smacked me down like a bitch here. I aint mad jader, i was always want to improve myself so i have to take it all in. I like this one. It's good.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

  4. #4
    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    jsut small mistakes... but i think my version made it better :P
    ur version first word first 8 lines
    ----
    we
    we
    we
    we

    we
    we
    we
    yet

    mine first words 8 lines
    ---
    we
    standing
    we've
    yet

    we
    dening
    we've
    yet
    ------------------------------------------------------

    im sure u can tell a big difference
    just wasn't cutting it in ur poem lol.
    I amde it flow on the 1st 3rd and 4th lines. and the 2nd lines is the middle of each paragraph, only one of them stands out. Helps draw u in. I hope u can see all i did.. im sure i did something wrong in my version Lmao... somewhere
    Last edited by jaderabbit; May 19, 2006 at 10:42 AM.
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

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    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    i suppose so if u seen my other poem like The way is Lost. The reptitiveness has worked before.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

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    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    Good I like it
    keep it up

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
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    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: The Reckoning a.k.a The exams

    wow good you liked it? nice u earned a 10%warning for not posting anything but spam.

    next time say what u liked about it
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

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