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Thread: Regret

  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Post Regret

    There are times when pain comes to your head
    Its a feeling that you can't get over yet
    There's one way to heal that wound in your brain
    Don't pass your life filled with regret

    There are things that make you real mad
    Because it's been a real bad day
    Friends betraying you and not telling the truth
    You want them to go away

    You feel real sudden that your becoming quiet
    Because your whole life is falling apart
    You wanted to be left alone in the dark
    With your quiet and cold heart

    Pushing away of those you love the most
    No longer speaking about family, friends
    When you walk down that road
    Thats where everything is gonna end

    Trust in your feelings and mind
    Someday your life well come back together
    Do something you won't regret
    That how it stay's forever.

    -hellknight

  2. #2
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Regret

    Nicely done there my friend... the flow was very good... ^^

    There are things that make you real mad
    Because it's been a real bad day
    Friends betraying you and not telling the truth
    You want them to go away
    a suggestion... try to repeat the same word lesser.. as less as you could and i see a few other words can go with that ^^

    Trust in your feelings and mind
    Someday your life well come back together
    Do something you won't regret
    That how it stay's forever.
    nice... a nice way to end the poem.. the poem seems to go on forever.. it keeps an impact to the poem..making it linger in the minds of the reader... keep it up man ^^ a very nice piece...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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    God Of Angelz Submarine Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Pencak Champion, Grand Prix Challenge 2 Champion, Twelve Swap Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Crab Volleyball Champion, Hockey Shooter Champion, Trick Master Funky Champion, Mah-Jong Connect Champion, W.R.A.X. Champion dark1angel may be famous one day dark1angel's Avatar
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    Re: Regret

    Very Regretful you have here in this impressive poem and also how you described it very tentively although the last stanza got me really regretful.

    I wish to see more of this please it felt like this would get the attention for the moment and would let go in your mind when you experienced this type of relationship with your friends.

    Magic intervenes when there is love in first sight.
    |アスタロス|

  4. #4
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Regret

    LOL, alright Ray, I'll try to take your advice and maybe I'll repeat some of the words I had said, even though I don't like repeating myself, but I'll try

    And angel, thanks for such a good comment and I'll try to make something kind a like this ok?

  5. #5
    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: Regret

    Not a bad poem. To improve, try to make it flow a little more. Overall, I like it.
    Last edited by Tifa Lockhart; Nov 17, 2007 at 03:35 PM.

  6. #6
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Regret

    Thanks tifa, I'll try and consider of what you said, and thanks for a great comment.

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