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Thread: Rewrite

  1. Sep 24, 2007 01:57 PM #1
    Seirika
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    Rewrite

    What was there does not belong
    Missing hymns of unfinished songs
    The pen moves not to guide the page
    Left unlocked, a broken cage
    And here I lie, a somber tone
    Realize now, life lives alone
    Duets turn solo, as time sets in stone
    Love outlasted, I've outgrown

    This poem was made by me and my friend,Michele.
    By most,the best poem I read in my opinion. It's dedicated to my friend Ellis. Who was hit by a truck,hopitalized,went into a coma, and died this morning.
    C+C are GREATLY needed.
    Last edited by Seirika; Sep 24, 2007 at 03:04 PM.

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
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  2. Sep 25, 2007 01:53 AM #2
    RayMe
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    Re: Rewrite

    damn... thats real good.. and damn sad... @.@ but as they say... sadness is beautiful...
    ^^ this is a very beautiful poem in my opinion... u guys should do more...

    *sighs* :/ rest in peace to that poor fella...
    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

    My Siggy is in progress... just you wait... :3
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  3. Sep 25, 2007 06:16 AM #3
    Lasura
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    Re: Rewrite

    *gasps* oh my I won't go out on the street again! I'll stay at school, sleep at school, eat rats and so on.. That's really scary to understand it can happen just like that...

    It's a very nice poem... nice work... makes you think... quite nostalgic... quite sad... but not terribly depressive... that is something I'd like on my gravestone ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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  4. Sep 25, 2007 01:41 PM #4
    Seirika
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    Re: Rewrite

    Thank you,both of you *and to my friend,Michele*
    I'll give you advice which was given to my class - Use extreme caution when you're skate boarding and doing other other activities on streets or if there's traffic.

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
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  5. Sep 25, 2007 01:55 PM #5
    ihauntforlust
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    Post Re: Rewrite

    ....that's a really sad poem But i like the way it's short and yet sweet at the same time

    @.@ T.T poor friend of your's x.x so sorry, TTT.TTT

    -zainab
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  6. Sep 25, 2007 02:23 PM #6
    Seirika
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    Re: Rewrite

    Thank you T^T
    Somehow when people act stupid they intend to get injured. But I never expected for this thing to happen.

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
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  7. Sep 25, 2007 02:55 PM #7
    sangogirl
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    Re: Rewrite

    wow that is a really sad event to happen. i really hope you are feeling better, it must be great insperation to write though, it's really nice that you are dedicating it to your deceased friend.
    every rose has a thorn
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  8. Sep 25, 2007 03:18 PM #8
    Seirika
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    Re: Rewrite

    It is,possibly the best thing to inspire me or anyone else that lost someone dear.
    Thank you too o0o

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
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