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Thread: With Roses We Wait

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    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    With Roses We Wait

    Your eyes splashed with melted sun,
    looked into the black sky of mine.

    And then, no words could stop time.

    Tangled together, I leaned silently in your
    arms.

    Crystal streams trickled down your cheeks,
    catching a sparkle from the light on the street.

    My eyes began to sting, my heart began to
    swing, the bell in my head began to ring.

    Realization collided into me,
    the pain of not fulfulling your plead.


    As I stared through darkening glass,
    there was no trace of your
    face, only the sound of crackling gravel
    road that would seperate us for a time.
    Dear Dinah...

  2. #2
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: With Roses We Wait

    EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i love it a little bit off rhyming but thats for some parts and also very good description of words
    i would ♥ to hear more from you^-^
    ♥~*The Princess*~♥
    Yeah, Bye.

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    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    Re: With Roses We Wait

    I know there wasn't alot of rhyming...but remember...some of the greatest poems in the world didn't rhyme at all.
    Thank you anyway, I am glad you enjoyed my poem
    Dear Dinah...

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: With Roses We Wait

    Hmmm... nice poem... I like how you write. I love that you've hidden all the most important things under imaginery and indeed rhymes are not needded in this at all... It is good as it is in style and everything.

    I only thought that... there's something missing in the plot, because.. it seems like everything's just wonderful at the start, I can imagine that all happening to me and it made me dreamy and... I really liked it. but then you suddenly say it's bad... and it just made me be "@.@ Why?!" But, from the other hand, it is like that in real life, in love... sadly... ^^

    Nice work Ofelia!!! ^^ And I hope to see more!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    Re: With Roses We Wait

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    Hmmm... nice poem... I like how you write. I love that you've hidden all the most important things under imaginery and indeed rhymes are not needded in this at all... It is good as it is in style and everything.

    I only thought that... there's something missing in the plot, because.. it seems like everything's just wonderful at the start, I can imagine that all happening to me and it made me dreamy and... I really liked it. but then you suddenly say it's bad... and it just made me be "@.@ Why?!" But, from the other hand, it is like that in real life, in love... sadly... ^^

    Nice work Ofelia!!! ^^ And I hope to see more!!!
    Yeah I get what you mean...this was based on actual events of my life...I could tell you the story..but I doubt you would want to hear it lol.
    Dear Dinah...

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