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Reply With QuoteEXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love it a little bit off rhyming but thats for some parts and also very good description of words
i would ♥ to hear more from you^-^
♥~*The Princess*~♥
Your eyes splashed with melted sun,
looked into the black sky of mine.
And then, no words could stop time.
Tangled together, I leaned silently in your
arms.
Crystal streams trickled down your cheeks,
catching a sparkle from the light on the street.
My eyes began to sting, my heart began to
swing, the bell in my head began to ring.
Realization collided into me,
the pain of not fulfulling your plead.
As I stared through darkening glass,
there was no trace of your
face, only the sound of crackling gravel
road that would seperate us for a time.
Dear Dinah...
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love it a little bit off rhyming but thats for some parts and also very good description of words
i would ♥ to hear more from you^-^
♥~*The Princess*~♥
Yeah, Bye.
I know there wasn't alot of rhyming...but remember...some of the greatest poems in the world didn't rhyme at all.
Thank you anyway, I am glad you enjoyed my poem
Dear Dinah...
Hmmm... nice poem... I like how you write. I love that you've hidden all the most important things under imaginery and indeed rhymes are not needded in this at all... It is good as it is in style and everything.
I only thought that... there's something missing in the plot, because.. it seems like everything's just wonderful at the start, I can imagine that all happening to me and it made me dreamy and... I really liked it. but then you suddenly say it's bad... and it just made me be "@.@ Why?!" But, from the other hand, it is like that in real life, in love... sadly... ^^
Nice work Ofelia!!! ^^ And I hope to see more!!!
Yeah I get what you mean...this was based on actual events of my life...I could tell you the story..but I doubt you would want to hear it lol.Originally Posted by Lasura
Dear Dinah...
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