+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Rust

  1. #1
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    テネシー州
    Posts
    332
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Rust

    This poem was revised from an old poem I wrote. None the less it's essentially new. Hope everyone likes it ^-^



    Rage is a curious thing,
    love, even more curious.

    Lovers that consume everything,
    lovers that give everything.

    Your hand blazing about through the air,
    a thunderstorm dnacing on my face.

    Wondering why, is that so bad?

    Those words diving through my brain as I
    sleep, the truth could it be?

    Hours slipping from the time,
    was it the way my back curved,
    or the way my words were hot on the tounge.

    It was always the
    same once told.

    In keeping our secrets,
    may they be told to one precious soul.

    Sever my tounge when I am forced to
    speak in your presence.

    What could be the words I would say.
    Last edited by OfeliasFire; Jun 01, 2007 at 08:12 AM.
    Dear Dinah...

  2. #2
    Newbie fallenangel25 is off to a good start fallenangel25's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Inbetween Heaven & Hell
    Posts
    85
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Rust

    couple spelling errors but other than that its a decent poem.definatly dif. keep it up ofelias! cant wait for the next one.
    [/url]

  3. #3
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    テネシー州
    Posts
    332
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Rust

    Thank you ^-^ oh yeah sorry about the spelling errors...I was typing too fast. I should have looked over it better.
    Dear Dinah...

  4. #4
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    862
    Thanks
    48
    Thanked 43 Times in 39 Posts

    Re: Rust

    Pretty good. Like angel said a few little spelling errors but good overall. Don't go so fast and watch what you type. And always make good use of the edit button. But you've done a greta job. Keep up the good work.

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

  5. #5
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Rust

    You did a great job with this poem I like it alot.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  6. #6
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    テネシー州
    Posts
    332
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Rust

    Thankies ^-^...I didn't think it was one of my better ones, but oh well I guess.
    Dear Dinah...

  7. #7
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Rust

    hey no problem I like to give advice and tell people when I like their work
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  8. #8
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    テネシー州
    Posts
    332
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Rust

    Well thank you much ^-^. I am actually working on another poem right now, so be looking out for it
    Dear Dinah...

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts