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Thread: Sandbox

  1. #1
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Sandbox

    A poem I had to write out of the blue for class participation. Before you read it however, I would like to say that it was based on a poem that someone had written. The author gave the non living items characteristics of a human. Thus, personification. The poem was about the objects of an abanodoned farmhouse telling their perspective on what happened. There was a man who lived there, a woman, and a child. One of the objects that was in the poem was the sandbox. So I made a poem about it. Here goes:

    Sandbox

    Sitting here alone, with no one to please,
    covered in filth, for others to tease.
    The child has left, along with its father;
    Nothing else left for my insides to bother.

    Sick of being trampled on,
    covered in rain..
    Catching a cold, living in vain.
    Feeling left out from nature's playful ways -
    birds singing in the trees, wind blowing in a daze.

    What's to become of me?
    There's no reason left to live.
    The child has left.
    There's nothing else to give.

    Days once filled with happiness
    are now turned gray.
    Bright colors and toys
    have all faded away.

    My insides - abandoned, no little kid cheers.
    They've sat there to rot, no more ringing in my ears.
    Alas a snowflake comes to sight, ending fall's crude history;
    leaves me thinking of the future, and its inevitable misery.
    Last edited by The White Wolf; Mar 23, 2007 at 07:40 PM.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Sandbox

    Thats qutie a clever poem. Very unique in all aspects.
    And an empty sandbox probably WOULD feel miserable when its lonely.
    Damn,
    maybe Im a sandbox reincarnated... Because I feel like all the "children" have just taken their toys out of MY sandbox and left as well.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Sandbox

    lol! Thank you peach-san for your kindness. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    And about you being a reincarnated version of a sandbox..

    0__0 I seriously doubt it. ^ ^;;

  4. #4
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Sandbox

    Nice poem it told a good story and I lokk forward to reading more.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

  5. #5
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Sandbox

    It contained a nice flow and wonderful use of the rhyme theme. You should have received an A.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Sandbox

    Clever piece of work. It's good ^_^ But I couldn't work out if it were happy ones or not.

  7. #7
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: Sandbox

    uh... the title you wrote- Sandox .. needs some editing ._.
    Other than that, it really was a nice poem - the flow,rhyme and description was very nicely combined together ^^

  8. #8
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Sandbox

    Thank you, Kasai. That means a lot. I don't think I'll recieve an A though. He never grades our work xD

    Thank you Rave, and Elie for your comments. Your reviews all inspire me to continue to write. Elie, yeah.. title needs work! x0 Any suggestions?

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