Sandbox

!The White Wolf · Mar 21, 2007, 07:21 PM

A poem I had to write out of the blue for class participation. Before you read it however, I would like to say that it was based on a poem that someone had written. The author gave the non living items characteristics of a human. Thus, personification. The poem was about the objects of an abanodoned farmhouse telling their perspective on what happened. There was a man who lived there, a woman, and a child. One of the objects that was in the poem was the sandbox. So I made a poem about it. Here goes:

Sandbox

Sitting here alone, with no one to please,
covered in filth, for others to tease.
The child has left, along with its father;
Nothing else left for my insides to bother.

Sick of being trampled on,
covered in rain..
Catching a cold, living in vain.
Feeling left out from nature's playful ways -
birds singing in the trees, wind blowing in a daze.

What's to become of me?
There's no reason left to live.
The child has left.
There's nothing else to give.

Days once filled with happiness
are now turned gray.
Bright colors and toys
have all faded away.

My insides - abandoned, no little kid cheers.
They've sat there to rot, no more ringing in my ears.
Alas a snowflake comes to sight, ending fall's crude history;
leaves me thinking of the future, and its inevitable misery.

*Peach_follows* · Mar 21, 2007, 08:10 PM

Thats qutie a clever poem. Very unique in all aspects.
And an empty sandbox probably WOULD feel miserable when its lonely.
Damn,
maybe Im a sandbox reincarnated... Because I feel like all the "children" have just taken their toys out of MY sandbox and left as well.

!The White Wolf · Mar 21, 2007, 08:15 PM

lol! Thank you peach-san for your kindness. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And about you being a reincarnated version of a sandbox..

0__0 I seriously doubt it. ^ ^;;

CherryBlossom18 · Mar 23, 2007, 01:49 AM

Nice poem it told a good story and I lokk forward to reading more.

*Kasai* · Mar 23, 2007, 01:53 AM

It contained a nice flow and wonderful use of the rhyme theme. You should have received an A.

*Rave_Grip* · Mar 23, 2007, 02:32 AM

Clever piece of work. It's good ^_^ But I couldn't work out if it were happy ones or not.

elie26 · Mar 23, 2007, 05:43 AM

uh... the title you wrote- Sandox .. needs some editing ._.
Other than that, it really was a nice poem

- the flow,rhyme and description was very nicely combined together ^^

!The White Wolf · Mar 23, 2007, 10:01 AM

Thank you, Kasai. That means a lot. I don't think I'll recieve an A though. He never grades our work xD

Thank you Rave, and Elie for your comments. Your reviews all inspire me to continue to write. Elie, yeah.. title needs work! x0 Any suggestions?

*RayMe* · Mar 23, 2007, 11:51 AM

The sandbox..? lol the same title huh.. xD hmm dunno what suggest...

nice poem u got there... really got some imagination u are ^^

!The White Wolf · Mar 23, 2007, 12:05 PM

lol, thank you ray-kun. I'm glad you liked it. Too bad my teacher is a butthead. He would've enjoyed it as well. Thank you once again for your support!

The sandbox? lol, uhm.. same thing as what is already there! Thanks, though =]

*atomik_sprout* · Mar 23, 2007, 12:31 PM

I'm really diggin' your poem. Good job! ^_^

Excellent word play, and good rhyming.

Mar 21, 2007, 07:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
!The White Wolf Why so serious? Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,580 Thanks: 9 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 10,073	Sandbox A poem I had to write out of the blue for class participation. Before you read it however, I would like to say that it was based on a poem that someone had written. The author gave the non living items characteristics of a human. Thus, personification. The poem was about the objects of an abanodoned farmhouse telling their perspective on what happened. There was a man who lived there, a woman, and a child. One of the objects that was in the poem was the sandbox. So I made a poem about it. Here goes: Sandbox Sitting here alone, with no one to please, covered in filth, for others to tease. The child has left, along with its father; Nothing else left for my insides to bother. Sick of being trampled on, covered in rain.. Catching a cold, living in vain. Feeling left out from nature's playful ways - birds singing in the trees, wind blowing in a daze. What's to become of me? There's no reason left to live. The child has left. There's nothing else to give. Days once filled with happiness are now turned gray. Bright colors and toys have all faded away. My insides - abandoned, no little kid cheers. They've sat there to rot, no more ringing in my ears. Alas a snowflake comes to sight, ending fall's crude history; leaves me thinking of the future, and its inevitable misery. Last edited by The White Wolf; Mar 23, 2007 at 07:40 PM.
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Mar 21, 2007, 08:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,037 Thanks: 42 Thanked 34 Times in 32 Posts Credits: 3,000	Re: Sandbox Thats qutie a clever poem. Very unique in all aspects. And an empty sandbox probably WOULD feel miserable when its lonely. Damn, maybe Im a sandbox reincarnated... Because I feel like all the "children" have just taken their toys out of MY sandbox and left as well. __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
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Mar 21, 2007, 08:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
!The White Wolf Why so serious? Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,580 Thanks: 9 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 10,073	Re: Sandbox lol! Thank you peach-san for your kindness. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And about you being a reincarnated version of a sandbox.. 0__0 I seriously doubt it. ^ ^;;
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Mar 23, 2007, 01:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
CherryBlossom18 Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun Posts: 578 Thanks: 1 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 2,386	Re: Sandbox Nice poem it told a good story and I lokk forward to reading more. __________________ "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach" Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice Thanks so much I love it!
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Mar 23, 2007, 01:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: Sandbox It contained a nice flow and wonderful use of the rhyme theme. You should have received an A. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Mar 23, 2007, 02:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,314 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,887	Re: Sandbox Clever piece of work. It's good ^_^ But I couldn't work out if it were happy ones or not. __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
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Mar 23, 2007, 05:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
elie26 Elie Jelly Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell is an understatement Posts: 608 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,051	Re: Sandbox uh... the title you wrote- Sandox .. needs some editing ._. Other than that, it really was a nice poem - the flow,rhyme and description was very nicely combined together ^^
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Mar 23, 2007, 10:01 AM	#8 (permalink)
!The White Wolf Why so serious? Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,580 Thanks: 9 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 10,073	Re: Sandbox Thank you, Kasai. That means a lot. I don't think I'll recieve an A though. He never grades our work xD Thank you Rave, and Elie for your comments. Your reviews all inspire me to continue to write. Elie, yeah.. title needs work! x0 Any suggestions?
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Mar 23, 2007, 11:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,148	Re: Sandbox The sandbox..? lol the same title huh.. xD hmm dunno what suggest... nice poem u got there... really got some imagination u are ^^ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Mar 23, 2007, 12:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
!The White Wolf Why so serious? Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,580 Thanks: 9 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 10,073	Re: Sandbox lol, thank you ray-kun. I'm glad you liked it. Too bad my teacher is a butthead. He would've enjoyed it as well. Thank you once again for your support! The sandbox? lol, uhm.. same thing as what is already there! Thanks, though =]
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Mar 23, 2007, 12:31 PM	#11 (permalink)
atomik_sprout CHUCK NORRIS!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 2,087 Thanks: 55 Thanked 69 Times in 64 Posts Credits: 110,749	Re: Sandbox I'm really diggin' your poem. Good job! ^_^ Excellent word play, and good rhyming. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/boondocksamurai
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