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![]() what a shame Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Pasadena, TX.
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![]() ![]() Credits: 6,675 | The scarecrow I knew a forest back then when I was young where the brook goes on and the birds sung what caught my eye was the perplexing scarecrow I knew one time I've seen him before Oh! But I knew this couldn't be true He laughed and danced and then he grew He pulled out a pipe and played a song Blew more into it and things went wrong Purple smoke billowed from the intrument I then saw the pipe and found out it was bent I closed my eyes and took a stand He went ahead and took my hand Then he turned into a man he stood in front of me looking very tall but he had no face at all he was gonna fall my pupil got small then I fell to bawl he whispered in my ear "you shouldn't lose to fear there's things you need to hear I'll always be right here" Then suddenly a waterfall came into view the aqua was crystal clear blue I touched the surface gently Like looking through a mirror the faceless man then felt me my voice got thinner he grabbed my hand and gave me a card the card contained one heart it all became clear to thought and then my eye he caught his face came into focus and stole my heart with a kiss I felt lost to hate It wasnt very late I knew it was my fate --------- well....anything improvements and comments? I dont mind taking on bad comments either. ^^
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| AO shady bystander Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Wherever Kirika goes....
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![]() ![]() Credits: 502 | Re: The scarecrow Wow, absolute perfection....... it was a great poem, I dont think I would change a single thing about it ^_^ But just in case, maybe you would want to split em up into little paragraphy bits. It might break the swift rhythm of the poem a little bit, but sometimes, other people just cant be bothered reading poems all in one big paragraph like that ^_^ I loved many things about your poem, like the use of rhyme, and the fast paced events that happen, and the sudden sort of magic in the scene...... and the list goes on ^_^ It was literally magical, in a quite perplexing sort of way Awesome poem, keep it up
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