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Thread: The scarecrow

  1. #1
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    Jun 2005
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    The scarecrow

    I knew a forest back then when I was young
    where the brook goes on and the birds sung
    what caught my eye was the perplexing scarecrow
    I knew one time I've seen him before
    Oh! But I knew this couldn't be true
    He laughed and danced and then he grew
    He pulled out a pipe and played a song
    Blew more into it and things went wrong
    Purple smoke billowed from the intrument
    I then saw the pipe and found out it was bent
    I closed my eyes and took a stand
    He went ahead and took my hand
    Then he turned into a man
    he stood in front of me looking very tall
    but he had no face at all
    he was gonna fall
    my pupil got small
    then I fell to bawl
    he whispered in my ear
    "you shouldn't lose to fear
    there's things you need to hear
    I'll always be right here"
    Then suddenly a waterfall came into view
    the aqua was crystal clear blue
    I touched the surface gently
    Like looking through a mirror
    the faceless man then felt me
    my voice got thinner
    he grabbed my hand and gave me a card
    the card contained one heart
    it all became clear to thought
    and then my eye he caught
    his face came into focus
    and stole my heart with a kiss
    I felt lost to hate
    It wasnt very late
    I knew it was my fate
    well....anything improvements and comments? I dont mind taking on bad comments either. ^^

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  2. #2
    AO shady bystander Comboling Champion bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez's Avatar
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    Re: The scarecrow

    Wow, absolute perfection....... it was a great poem, I dont think I would change a single thing about it ^_^

    But just in case, maybe you would want to split em up into little paragraphy bits. It might break the swift rhythm of the poem a little bit, but sometimes, other people just cant be bothered reading poems all in one big paragraph like that ^_^

    I loved many things about your poem, like the use of rhyme, and the fast paced events that happen, and the sudden sort of magic in the scene...... and the list goes on ^_^ It was literally magical, in a quite perplexing sort of way

    Awesome poem, keep it up
    Kastelic's creation

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