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Thread: Searching For Something

  1. #9
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Searching For Something

    Well as long as you have your own style then you will do just fine!

  2. #10
    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: Searching For Something

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueFox1 View Post
    Well as long as you have your own style then you will do just fine!
    I agree as long as you use your own style then things should be just fine. Yes listen to what people say take the critisism but do what feels right to you.
    ™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™


    Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!

  3. #11
    M A S T E R Zui Quan may be famous one day Zui Quan may be famous one day Zui Quan's Avatar
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    Re: Searching For Something

    It's a good piece to start from. Now that you've got the atmosphere and the emotion down in writing, maybe you could start to play with some of the wording to see if you come up with something that sounds better but gives the same feeling.

    Take the first stanza for example:
    Sitting on the cold floor of my prison
    Stairing out the barred window
    Wondering what life is like
    What is in the outside world
    Might rewrite to something like this:

    Sitting on the floor of my cold prison,
    Staring out the window barred.
    'What is it like to live?' I wonder.
    What is in the world outside?


    The punctuation is the third line is wrong, but I hope you see my point. A simple inversion of word order or the use of a different synonym, stuff like that can transform a poem.

    You know what you want to convey, now you need to explore how to make the words work for you.
    Clan? What Clan?
    I'm the Master. I need no Clan.

  4. #12
    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: Searching For Something

    Quote Originally Posted by Zui Quan View Post
    It's a good piece to start from. Now that you've got the atmosphere and the emotion down in writing, maybe you could start to play with some of the wording to see if you come up with something that sounds better but gives the same feeling.

    Take the first stanza for example:


    Might rewrite to something like this:

    Sitting on the floor of my cold prison,
    Staring out the window barred.
    'What is it like to live?' I wonder.
    What is in the world outside?


    The punctuation is the third line is wrong, but I hope you see my point. A simple inversion of word order or the use of a different synonym, stuff like that can transform a poem.

    You know what you want to convey, now you need to explore how to make the words work for you.
    Thanks for your examples and your words. I enjoy reading anything you have to say.
    ™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™


    Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!

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