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Thread: Seasons

  1. #1
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    Seasons

    Seasons

    In summer, in winter
    in spring and in fall,
    in bitter cold and pouring rain,
    under the hottest sun and the moonless sky,

    I dream of rivers,
    running deep and flowing endlessly,
    passing through hundreds of dreams
    and thousands of regrets.

    I dream of deserts,
    tiny grains of despair, of terror,
    of hope, all mixed together, countless.
    Vast and empty, but perfect in a way, as always.

    I dream of green, green grass,
    of bare toes wiggling in dirt,
    and rolling down hills as a child at play,
    laughter and joy my truest, bluest friends.

    I dream of night,
    twilight turned to dusk turned to black,
    a billion stars twinkling, fading, imploding, dying,
    a million lives lived beneath them,
    but just one that lives to keep

    dreaming.




    I don't usually post my works so closely together, but I wrote this in a frenzy of inspiration, and I like how it turned out.
    Last edited by gren; Nov 03, 2007 at 12:59 AM.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  2. #2
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons

    Ohh same with me.. i like how it turned out too

    a very nice poem with very nice descriptions... imagery is real good

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons

    Yes I agree with you Ray ...such as she make a wonderful painting but with words ..
    I like the descrapiton there ..well done..^^

    Foolish beating

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    Cool Re: Seasons

    I agree with both of you above me

    It's an awesome poem with really good description, I like the way you chose to write about the Seasons. Different ideas always are...simply wonderful!

    Keep up the good work!

    -x- Zainab -x-

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons

    Yea... O.o it's really good... I really, really like it. I find it great. The starting is wonderful- it just has this nice rhythm that, together with the listing of seasons and of desriptions of nature, create harmony.
    And when you start to talk about dreams... it just creates wonderfull images in my head...
    I really, really like this poem. ^^ Nice work!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: Seasons

    It's amazing. This poem reminds me of a childhood story. x]
    I love the imagery of this poem. <3
    Keep up the fantastic work! ^^

  7. #7
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons

    I've enjoyed reading this poem, it has the imagery that captivates a reader. I also find the descriptive words interesting. I found myself in a dreamlike state while I was reading it, I felt that I touched and felt everything stated in this poem.

    Stanzas would be nice though (only a suggestion =^_^=)

    All in All, This is an awesome work Gren and may you keep up the good work.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  8. #8
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons

    Quote Originally Posted by raja_psyche View Post
    Stanzas would be nice though (only a suggestion =^_^=)[/COLOR]
    After I wrote it, I considered separating it into stanzas, but decided not to. Now that I look it over again, stanzas would have been better, especially to separate the last line for effect.

    I love the writing that comes from intense fatigue, from utter desperation, from the insane desire to create something truly amazing. It may not be the best, but I think it conveys the honesty and simple beauty that I was reaching for.

    Thanks for the replies so far, all suggestions/comments are welcome!

    EDIT: I edited the poem to stanza form, I really do like it better this way.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

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