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Thread: Seaward call

  1. #1
    Otaku Crab Ball Champion, TurtleSnake Champion, Dibblez Party Champion zoolivemonster is off to a good start
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    Seaward call

    When the moon is full and all is quiet
    when nothing stirs not even a riot
    when the waves come crashing against the rocks
    even the seagulls are silent as if gathering their thoughts
    if you walk alone on the beach on lonesome night
    you will hear the seaward call it will give you a fright
    the voice is soft like a kitten's purr
    it will draw you in without making you stir
    you will travel acrross the sea like in an adventure book
    you will lose your mind for you endlessly look and look
    the seaward call is the ocean's plea
    come in and join the others,
    so many have been lost forever
    bodies immobilized as minds still hover.
    Last edited by zoolivemonster; Mar 12, 2009 at 06:31 AM.
    My signature pic!
    I absolutely love it!

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    blackrose92 (Mar 12, 2009)

  3. #2
    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Re: Seaward call

    Bone crunching pace. makes me thinkof whenIwas walking on the beach at night. Intense sea imagery.

  4. #3
    Devoted Otaku Wuzzler Champion, Stan James Freekick Champion, Sports Bar Champion, Kill Tweety Champion, Bloody Pingu Champion, One Ton Bang Bang Champion receiverofhell may be famous one day receiverofhell's Avatar
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    Re: Seaward call

    Hey beast this girl would be a competitor if she post mo poem[There`s always a contest
    when there`s competitor`s]..>>>
    Well a great poem indeed....>>>
    Nice expressions of thought and emotions and the way you feeled[when you imagine things int he beach]..>>>>>
    Keep it up Zoo...>>
    On being a good Poetess...>>
    I loved her so much.... i would dare to risk my own life only to save her from dying....
    I loved my GF...
    http://i52.tinypic.com/zxa8pj.jpg[/IMG

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    Newbie zefielyn is off to a good start
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    Re: Seaward call

    My only complaint is the second line. 'Riot' sticks out, calls in mental imagery, and distracts from the tone. Maybe something different...

    When the moon is full and serene
    when nothing stirs not even a dream?

    Hmm... no. Sorry for hijacking your poem.
    "So take a piece, but not too much."

  6. #5
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: Seaward call

    I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT^^ just one spelling error lol "othes" to others
    be care ful
    but i loved the melodic description in this poem^^
    keep up the good work
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

  7. #6
    Otaku Crab Ball Champion, TurtleSnake Champion, Dibblez Party Champion zoolivemonster is off to a good start
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    Re: Seaward call

    Thanks! I was typing it really fast before the end of class and the bell had just wrung when I was on that line. Thanks to everyone who gave me their feedback on my poems.
    My signature pic!
    I absolutely love it!

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    Devoted Otaku Wuzzler Champion, Stan James Freekick Champion, Sports Bar Champion, Kill Tweety Champion, Bloody Pingu Champion, One Ton Bang Bang Champion receiverofhell may be famous one day receiverofhell's Avatar
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    Re: Seaward call

    Hehehe just love to reply around especially to poems[actually im not poem enthusiast after all]
    I loved her so much.... i would dare to risk my own life only to save her from dying....
    I loved my GF...
    http://i52.tinypic.com/zxa8pj.jpg[/IMG

  9. #8
    Otaku Crab Ball Champion, TurtleSnake Champion, Dibblez Party Champion zoolivemonster is off to a good start
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    Re: Seaward call

    then why do you like my poems if you aren't a poem finatic?
    My signature pic!
    I absolutely love it!

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