Thread: Self interpritation

I don't like poems that try to talk to me, adn make me realizes what is only in that person's head, but I'll read on.

They push you down like a bag full of air in a pool full of water.

Best line in teh whole poem "But" is doesn't make since you see with all the preassure the bag should resuface no matter what holding it down. With a line like that the poem should be called a break though of the preassure. Not a with hold.

And that shell your so talking about, that not real you? ..

That shell is for protection, even Jesus cried in his hard times. =3

/input city/

Originally Posted by Mr. K

I don't like poems that try to talk to me, adn make me realizes what is only in that person's head, but I'll read on.

They push you down like a bag full of air in a pool full of water.

Best line in teh whole poem "But" is doesn't make since you see with all the preassure the bag should resuface no matter what holding it down. With a line like that the poem should be called a break though of the preassure. Not a with hold.

And that shell your so talking about, that not real you? ..

That shell is for protection, even Jesus cried in his hard times. =3

/input city/

Ok a bag is full of air... and gets pushed down and loses the air... meaning THEY ARE DROWNING YOU... it has nothing to do with the ability to float nor the air inside th bag because you have air inside you when u sink in a pool but you dont float back up all the time... And it isnt speaking to you... it is speaking about you... and that you is me...
it is a third person poem. It isnt what is in my head... it is the fatigue that the depression caused by these feeling make me feel. like i am being pushed down into a pool full of water... it makes my shield, my barrier break causeing me to cry... it is all about the emotion givin in metophoric interpritation....

everything in this poem is a metophoric statement... and it described the emotions and the feelings inside as real actions that you can feel as a person... and it has nothing to do with jesus... and his "shell"

I gotta agree with Mr.K about the whole bag full of air thing.

Normally if you think of a bag full of air, in water, you think of resistance. The only way the bag would sink... if it were full of air... is if that air were released (and the bag filled with water instead). People don't DROWN when they're full of air. Our bodies are mostly water. The only place for us store air is our lungs... We drown when we breath water into our lungs, where the air was supposed to be.

The reason it is confusing here is. If you're talking about a bag full of air... you dont mention resistance. (Infact you mention sinking which is opposite of resisting. If you mean to describe a deflating bag in water... perhaps mentioning deflation would be helpful. That way the sinking part would make more sense. The imagery as it stands.... is confusing.

Originally Posted by Peach_follows

I gotta agree with Mr.K about the whole bag full of air thing.

Normally if you think of a bag full of air, in water, you think of resistance. The only way the bag would sink... if it were full of air... is if that air were released (and the bag filled with water instead). People don't DROWN when they're full of air. Our bodies are mostly water. The only place for us store air is our lungs... We drown when we breath water into our lungs, where the air was supposed to be.

The reason it is confusing here is. If you're talking about a bag full of air... you dont mention resistance. (Infact you mention sinking which is opposite of resisting. If you mean to describe a deflating bag in water... perhaps mentioning deflation would be helpful. That way the sinking part would make more sense. The imagery as it stands.... is confusing.

OMFG
it is only a god damned feeling...
HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU WERE WEIGHED DOWN... THAT ITS HARD TO BREATHE? IT IS A METAPHORE!!!!!!!! and bags can sink... BECAUSE... when you let them go under water, the pressure pushes in on the bag, taking out the air! i never said that bag was tied or closed. And p.s. people drown when THEY PASS OUT under water from THE LACK OF OXYGEN. When you are unconcious, you body makes you breathe and... when your under water blacked out and not moving you sink... the only time you float is AFTER YOU ARE DEAD and your body fills with gas! wtf does it matter about one damned line... it isnt a big deal. it is a metaphore and that is all... the is the description on a physical feeling. and! if the bag full of air is not allowed to return to the surface! it stays under the water! i never said that it was let go but pushed down deeper and deeper. Ifr you focus on the rest of the poem! if says that I (or the bag) float back up so when you want to complain about 1 thing, make sure you read the rest of it first.

I told you what I thought... take it or leave it. I certainly understand somone who likes their art to stay just as they intended it to be. No matter how their viewers feel about it.

I was just explaining that the imagery was confusing (to me at least). It just seemed like you used a metaphore to create an image... but you only described a small portion... a bag of air in a pool. Perhaps it is just that is seemed to pose many unanswerd questions that the reader must fill in for themselves. So if I assume your talking about a sealed, zipped lock bag of air... in a pool... the sinking just throws it off.

Dont assume I didn't read your poem in its entirety before I replied. I probably would not have commented on this at all had someone else not been thrown off by the same line as me. And even that person complimented the line despite the fact that it was confusing. A graceful person might just appreciate the feedback.

Furthermore... If you can not take criticism, you may want to re-think posting in public forums. Perhaps showing your pieces to people who have an obligation to give only nice, happy feedback would be more appropriate...

I mean.... OMFG! WTF! (lmao)

Hey on the bright side it seems you edited this to make absolute sense! Seeeeeee... a little feedback never hurt nobody

Originally Posted by Peach_follows

I told you what I thought... take it or leave it. I certainly understand somone who likes their art to stay just as they intended it to be. No matter how their viewers feel about it.

I was just explaining that the imagery was confusing (to me at least). It just seemed like you used a metaphore to create an image... but you only described a small portion... a bag of air in a pool. Perhaps it is just that is seemed to pose many unanswerd questions that the reader must fill in for themselves. So if I assume your talking about a sealed, zipped lock bag of air... in a pool... the sinking just throws it off.

Dont assume I didn't read your poem in its entirety before I replied. I probably would not have commented on this at all had someone else not been thrown off by the same line as me. And even that person complimented the line despite the fact that it was confusing. A graceful person might just appreciate the feedback.

Furthermore... If you can not take criticism, you may want to re-think posting in public forums. Perhaps showing your pieces to people who have an obligation to give only nice, happy feedback would be more appropriate...

I mean.... OMFG! WTF! (lmao)

Hey on the bright side it seems you edited this to make absolute sense! Seeeeeee... a little feedback never hurt nobody

And... like i said in the poem.... they are pushing you down, which makes then "bag" or what ever you think of it sink as long as they are still pushing it down which in case is still said in a line furters after that part...

They aren't having fun.
They are scared of you, of what you can do
and they try so hard, pushing harder
and harder to make you sink deeper and deeper to the bottem.

I am asuming that that line was read too fast and was not interpreted to go along side and occure after the "Bag Of Air" Clause.
It never says that their hands are removed from you, even after the inside your mind screaming. What I am saying is that it didnt float back up because there was a resistance force holding it down in the water. When I say they I am talking about 10 to 30 who are people pushing and holding one thing down in the water and I know you can't tell me that a dinky little shopping bag would resurface from that.

Yes, I do understand now. Thank you for taking the time to both explain and edit.