Thread: Sex Upstairs

this poem is pretty intresting and to think
i never knew people were on the 2and floor
complaining lol , anyway i like this poem it gives
a new perspective on how one looks at love.

@ gren: Thanks for the advice on the title. I'll admit though, I wasn't trying to make a creative fit for the poem. The title is strictly shock value. I just wanted something people would feel compelled to click on and read.

As far as punctuation and spelling... could you point it out for me? Because whatever errors you cought were not overlooked on my end. I sincerely am ignorant to whats wrong, thusly I can't correct it without your help. I suppose I could check it in a word document, but thats no fun.

Is it the tripple dots (...)? Thats a hard habit to break...

XDD very funny poem peach i really enjoyed reading it

Their floor boards creaking.
Bed-springs squeaking.

To myself, I'm talking....
"Is that their headboard knocking?"

Overcome by their rhythmatic (not actually a word, "rhythmical" is the correct form. But I do like "rhythmatic" better, just noting for spelling) succession.
I toss, I turn, I have indigestion.

I hear some moans, so what do I do?
Turn up the TV... to volume thirty two.

But, my mission fails... in such disgrace.
Instead of them stopping, they just pick up pace.

This pillow over my head must be unappealing.
But I'm protected from debris falling down from my ceiling.

He's grunting. She's panting. I can't take anymore!
TV volume goes up... thirty three, thirty four....

They finally stop. But it was all quite a pain.
forty five minutes of sleep down the drain.

So a bit of advice, sorry if I seem tense.
Don't have sex upstairs at your neighbor's expense



The only things that really stood out were contractions (don't forget the apostrophe) and the few misspellings. It's poetry though, so if you choose not to punctuate at all or create entirely new words, that's totally up to you. But I noticed that you do it in some places and not others, so it seems more like just an error than a conscious decision. But none of it takes away from your poem; it was a great read (gren is just a stickler for proper grammar ).

Ah, apostrophe... The ultimate rival of the lazy poet.

Originally Posted by Peach_follows

So a bit of advice, sorry if I seem tense.
Don't have sex upstairs at your neighbors expense

.

Note to self: No sex near Peach . . . she'll write a poem complaining about the noise. Really, print out a copy and post it to their door. I would!

Ha ha ha... Whats funny is I TOTALLY thought about that! But he already hates me... I play my music too loud... So I figure, an eye for an eye.