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Thread: It is shadowed with sadness

  1. #1
    Newbie darkness of an angel is off to a good start darkness of an angel's Avatar
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    It is shadowed with sadness

    It hides up in dead trees in the daytime,
    and lurks in the black forest at night.
    It wants to leave this nightmare,
    it tries with all it's might.
    It spins dreams to escape its life that has already disolved,
    But this thing really asked for this life, leaving so many problems unsolved.
    It's face is grey and its hands are cold.
    This thing will never grow old.
    Because when it was a long time ago,
    Before this thing came to be,
    It had so many privleges,
    To all happiness it had the key.
    But he took advantage,
    of all the things that he had,
    so this thing grew into to what it now is,
    lifeless cold and mad.
    His eyes are cold and icy blue,
    like ice slowly melting away.
    His sadness is cloaked with anger,
    his anger cloaked with dismay.
    But slowly he starts to ruin the life of others who have created a life full of unity, creatures standing hand in hand.
    And soon he has the world under control, breaking out war,
    genocides and hatred for the fellow man.
    And now all that is left is bloodshed, and no one is really seeing.
    That the thing that is causing all of this mayhem, is the human being.

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: It is shadowed with sadness

    Rhyming.. I dont think this poem was veery good wit hthe rhyming. I'd like to see it without that device.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: It is shadowed with sadness

    Ok first of all.

    Fix up the body on this poem, it would help with the flow.

    As for the Rhyming, do you have to make it so common? Like you could tell what would may come next.

    But besides that. Dark poems hold a great place in my heart, and there most ofthe time true.

    =] Nice poem~
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
    Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 14, p.271
    Lamie Hynamen "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

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