+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: The Shark

  1. #1
    Abomination Smacky Champion, Celebrity Power Lifte Champion, Crash Test Dummy High Jump Champion, Super Track 2001 Champion, Endless Flight Champion, Drop Kick Champion, Bloody Rage Champion, Dropkick The Faint Champion, Splash Back Champion Spin Da Ish is off to a good start Spin Da Ish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    792
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    The Shark

    It thrashes it's tail,
    Majestic in a way,
    Its king of the ocean,
    Never once tamed.
    A real beast,
    A real threat,
    Stalks his prey,
    Until he knows it's dead.
    One row of teeth to kill,
    The other to chew,
    It opens its mouth,
    Knowing its swallowing you.
    Enourmous in size,
    Means it eats more,
    Seeing a juicy human,
    It hears crys as your leg is torn.
    Your dinner for the mighty beast,
    Its satisfied so it leaves,
    On to find another feast,
    Come the shark, The mighty water beast.

    its short but sweet right?

  2. #2
    Decapitation?DontBePicky! Raimann may be famous one day Raimann may be famous one day Raimann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    655
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: The Shark

    Quote Originally Posted by Spin Da Ish View Post
    It thrashes it's tail,
    Majestic in a way,
    Its king of the ocean,
    Never once tamed.
    A real beast,
    A real threat,
    Stalks his prey,
    Until he knows it's dead.
    One row of teeth to kill,
    The other to chew,
    It opens its mouth,
    Knowing its swallowing you.
    Enourmous in size,
    Means it eats more,
    Seeing a juicy human,
    It hears crys as your leg is torn.
    Your dinner for the mighty beast,
    Its satisfied so it leaves,
    On to find another feast,
    Come the shark, The mighty water beast.

    its short but sweet right?
    no offence but your poem styles do not describe you. your words are written like a child, as juicy human. many peoms indulge in the words, using them as a canvas to paint your brain's ideas of the poem. i know you can do better, matthew. you are better suited to political poems, along the styles of what rap styles you used to do. so find your style, because this is not it. nice try tho.


    Want Credits Fast? Love The Thrill Of Gambling? Then Come On Down And See For Yourself!
    http://www.animeonline.net/f5/nfl-football-31440/

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts