+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: she said...

  1. #1
    Otaku fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    earth :)
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    she said...

    We use to talk about the good times and the bad
    Even though when I talked, I was always mad
    You sat there and listened to me
    I said that I was tired of this place
    Wanted to go and leave this maze
    Said that I hated it and just wanted to move on
    But you told me that if I went, everything will be gone
    I thought what does he know
    It's all just a show…
    For him

    Now, I can finally leave this hell
    It's my turn to say farewell
    But as I packed, I remember all the good
    And the bad
    How many times we laughed
    And cried
    Now that I think about it
    Do I really want to leave?
    Would I want to leave him or my life?
    Do I really want to start over again?

    The answer is

    Hey guys its been awhile since my last post of a poem. I been having these crazy emotions lately and I just had to write this. =]

    Thanks lifeforce! (:

  2. #2
    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Emerald island (Eire) (Ireland)
    Thanked 39 Times in 37 Posts

    Re: she said...

    even though its been a while sweet ur still an awsome writer i really liked this poem of yours i hope to see more 10/10

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    In a Demon's Arms
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: she said...

    Hmmm.... interesting. I like the rhyming in the first stranza and I like how you put in contrasts in the second stranza... Something seems to be hmissing tough... Hmm... there's a bit of confusion about why the lyrical "me" even wants to leave and how come it's a show.... So shortly- you should make it longer

    Otherways it was interesting to read this and I hope to see more! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

+ Reply to Thread


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts