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Thread: She should be no more.

  1. #9
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: She should be no more.

    I can't believe I didn't comment this poem the first time I read it.... O.o hmm...

    Anyways.... ^^ A great work indeed!!!!!!!!!!! It's just fantastic... the thoughts of the girl you describe... just great work and those thoughts seem so impossible yet so real. And I love the way you build up tension to the end of the poem... Without it the poem would seem just freaky, but like this... it's perfect!!!

    A great work!!!!!! And I hope to see more ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  2. #10
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: She should be no more.

    Sadly you'll have to wait for my story, because for one its not short, and too i dont have internet at home so i cant put it up and i really dont feel like retyping it! lol! keep up the good work!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  3. #11
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: She should be no more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    I can't believe I didn't comment this poem the first time I read it.... O.o hmm...

    Anyways.... ^^ A great work indeed!!!!!!!!!!! It's just fantastic... the thoughts of the girl you describe... just great work and those thoughts seem so impossible yet so real. And I love the way you build up tension to the end of the poem... Without it the poem would seem just freaky, but like this... it's perfect!!!

    A great work!!!!!! And I hope to see more ^^
    Woo. Well I'm glad you commented in the end. I'm very appriciative of your comments. I'm so glad you like it.

    This is one of my favorite works. I'm really proud of it. Perfect? Wow. Tha's a BIG word. Thanks SO much. <3

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  4. #12
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: She should be no more.

    sounds like a story the way you have it formatted, but it is good none the less. I could see a couple talking trying to calm the other down, and yet............ anyways maybe a few stanzas here and there would work to influence the difference in the poems. Keep it up Bratling I enjoy reading your work.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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