+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 15

Thread: Shining star...

  1. #1
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In a box
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts

    Shining star...

    Shining star…

    Looking out in the distance,
    I see a shining star…
    Its beauty..
    shine..
    perfection caught me off...

    The night was black and that star was the only thing,
    that caught my eyes…
    Shining star…
    Just reminded me of you,
    Everything about you…

    The way it brightens the sky,
    You brighten my life…
    The way it watched over me,
    Like you do, protecting me…
    The perfect match for you
    Thank you my shining star…
    I hope your brightness will
    Guide me to a better life…

    This poem is to divine_punishment, he has always helped me and I wanted to thank him ^^
    And this poem is for my other friends too ^^
    Well tell me if you like it ^^?
    Last edited by ryomakurosaki; Jan 16, 2008 at 02:12 PM.
    [/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

  2. #2
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    'The way it brighten the sky,'
    although I love the innocent sound behind this try "brightens"
    However this is a fantastic piece yet again. ^_^

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In a Demon's Arms
    Posts
    1,875
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    It is very nice ^^ It has something in it... I think it's the immagenery, you painted a very nice picture here ^^ It's quite simple, but you've managed to write it very well. And putting something wonderful in a simple structure and simple words is a great thing ^^ Nice work here!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #4
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In a box
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    It is very nice ^^ It has something in it... I think it's the immagenery, you painted a very nice picture here ^^ It's quite simple, but you've managed to write it very well. And putting something wonderful in a simple structure and simple words is a great thing ^^ Nice work here!
    thank you lasura ^^ I hope everyone likes the poem too. I am shocked that there aren't many grammer mistakes you haven't pointed out ^^ That means i have gotten a bit better ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Corvus View Post
    'The way it brighten the sky,'
    although I love the innocent sound behind this try "brightens"
    However this is a fantastic piece yet again. ^_^
    Oh I didn't catch that ^^ thank you for telling me that. I will have to fix that then ^^. Oh and thank you for the comment too ^^ it means alot to me

    Quote Originally Posted by katsoyori33 View Post
    another great poem by ryomakurosaki! i love this one! 1st place prize!
    Lol thank you ^^ I am glad you enjoy my poetry
    [/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

  5. #5
    Otaku Yasmine may be famous one day Yasmine may be famous one day Yasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Above and Beyond
    Posts
    406
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    Wooow, very good poem. I wish I could write like you can ^_^". I've been trying though, but most of them always rhyme, which makes it so...=_= boring.. Well, I think you're doing great!

    || I forgot that I might see so many beautiful things - Dreamvisions ||

  6. #6
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In a box
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    Quote Originally Posted by Yasmine View Post
    Wooow, very good poem. I wish I could write like you can ^_^". I've been trying though, but most of them always rhyme, which makes it so...=_= boring.. Well, I think you're doing great!
    Not true, poetry which rhymes has something that keeps you reading. Personally I like rhyming poetry. Thank you for the wonderful comment. And post some of your poetry it will be good because sometimes it is hard to find poetry that still ryhmes ^^ Again thank you ^^
    [/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

  7. #7
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Good question . . . where am I?
    Posts
    1,170
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 26 Times in 21 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    Awwww . . . ryoma!!! Thank you. This poem is so beautiful and it makes me smile.

    ("Its beauty" not "It's beauty.")

  8. #8
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In a box
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts

    Re: Shining star...

    Quote Originally Posted by divine_punishment View Post
    Awwww . . . ryoma!!! Thank you. This poem is so beautiful and it makes me smile.

    ("Its beauty" not "It's beauty.")
    Wow i can't believe the number of mistakes lol ^^ I am glad you like it ^^ I want to improve and get more emotions in my poetry ^^ I hope this had a good mix of both things ^^
    [/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. My Knight In Shining Armor
    By evil_neko_youkai in forum Poems
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Dec 19, 2006, 01:22 PM
  2. The Shining Force..A possible awakening
    By HadesAssassin in forum Anime
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Jul 04, 2006, 10:15 AM
  3. Just shining new!!!^_^
    By Roseann in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Feb 01, 2005, 09:09 PM
  4. KAZE HIKARU ! Shining Wind
    By Hera in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Dec 24, 2004, 06:04 PM
  5. Shining Electrastar...
    By Electrastar in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Nov 21, 2004, 05:52 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts