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Thread: short poem

  1. #1
    Newbie Silver-wolfe may be famous one day Silver-wolfe may be famous one day
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    short poem

    Remember not the words
    only the spirit in which they were written.
    they could never express ones longing
    feelings, emotions...

    the book of ones life, open to be read
    the bow being drawn across the strings
    of ones heart.

    the words ramble and blur
    and become meaningless,
    so remember not the words
    but only the spirit in which
    they were written.
    No sig, and Hassun can suck my butt

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: short poem

    Capitalization, grammar, punctuation, and just plain out sense could make this a readable poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Newbie Silver-wolfe may be famous one day Silver-wolfe may be famous one day
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    Re: short poem

    Thank you for the constructive critism, I do appreciate it, but I write it like that on purpose. I think a lot of "Poets" get too worked up in structure, punctuation and lose site of the fact its not about the words but the feeling involved, so I roughen up the structure so that it feels less like a college essay for english lit. and more gritty and deep, for those that can understand it.

    but hey its cool too if people dont understand it either because I do and most my friends do and that is all that matters.
    Last edited by Silver-wolfe; Dec 09, 2006 at 12:30 PM. Reason: added something left out
    No sig, and Hassun can suck my butt

  4. #4
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: short poem

    I like the imagery you used in this poem! I think my favorite stanza is

    the book of ones life, open to be read
    the bow being drawn across the strings
    of ones heart.

    This particular stanza is amazing and very well written! Keep up the good work and I hope to read more of your work!

  5. #5
    Newbie Silver-wolfe may be famous one day Silver-wolfe may be famous one day
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    Re: short poem

    Thank you just dont expect proper punctuation and stuff
    No sig, and Hassun can suck my butt

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