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Thread: Sisters

  1. #1
    Otaku sazza2488 may be famous one day sazza2488 may be famous one day
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    Sisters

    Why is it that sisters tease?
    Can you tell me please?
    They always make me cry
    with one mean lie.
    Why is it me,
    They don't like to see?
    All I did was love you!
    Do you have no respect?
    Or is it 'cause you have
    to be perfect?

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters

    Started out okay, and then ended okay. however, you should try to make it a bit more complex in wording.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters

    Oh well, it still suits the title you chose. As Kasai said, but I don't mind that much ^_^

  4. #4
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters

    It is ok.Not too great though.There are improvements needed.A bit longer and the words being more complex.That's the main thing.

  5. #5
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters

    Although it was short it was still a nice poem. Good job.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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