Thread: Six Questions

Lovely poem, but the last question killed it!!

It would have made much more sense if the last question was stated like so:

Will you ever be mine?

Why? Because throughout the entire poem, the narrator (or speaker) is talking TO this girl - or wanting to talk to this girl. So it would only make sense if that last question was phrased just as the previous ones, with "you".

Great poem, Sprout. Keep it up.

Originally Posted by The White Wolf

Lovely poem, but the last question killed it!!

It would have made much more sense if the last question was stated like so:



Why? Because throughout the entire poem, the narrator (or speaker) is talking TO this girl - or wanting to talk to this girl. So it would only make sense if that last question was phrased just as the previous ones, with "you".

Great poem, Sprout. Keep it up.

Thanks for your comment, it means alot. ^_^ I'm gonna edit that last part per your criticism. I like that idea. Thanks alot!

You are very welcome. Just trying to help others improve their writing skills - they have so much potential, just like yourself.

I'd love to see more of your work. Keep them coming.

Originally Posted by The White Wolf

You are very welcome. Just trying to help others improve their writing skills - they have so much potential, just like yourself.

I'd love to see more of your work. Keep them coming.

Definetly. I love to write as much as I love to draw. It's one of those gifts that I just stumbled upon, y'know? But, I'm trying to get in the habit of posting more here on AO, so you'll be seein' more of my work. ^_^

This is kind a like my 10 questions lol, but your's is kind a better, keep it up and hope to read more of your work ^_^

awwww its so sweet ^^ i like it lots, well i guess you should just let the girl know how you feel ^^' i dunno lol

Originally Posted by Aiora

awwww its so sweet ^^ i like it lots, well i guess you should just let the girl know how you feel ^^' i dunno lol

Oh. I've been workin' on it; believe it. It's just so damn hard, because the whole fear of rejection thing--for starters--and she's just so damn perfect it seems. I mean she's beautiful, smart, artistic, designs her own clothing, likes alot of the stuff I'm into, etc... I just don't know what I should do or say, y'know?

I don't even know how I got the last girlfriend I had. It kinda just happened. But then again, that's how we broke up too, LOL. And I'm shy around pretty ladies, so this is gonna be one hell of a challenge; believe it. ^_^