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Thread: Slowly dying...

  1. #1
    Learn, live, laugh, GROW 5 Card Draw Champion, Bubble Trouble Champion, Connect 4 Champion, Long Jump Champion, Collapse Champion, BALLZ! Champion, Rotamania Champion, Rotations Champion, Hishi Champion, Domino Pressure Champion, Fun_game1 Champion, Road Blocks Champion, Puzzle Maniax Champion, Cloud Breakout Champion lebasiara may be famous one day lebasiara's Avatar
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    Talking Slowly dying...

    Here I am once again
    I fall once more
    The temptation was to strong
    I could not avoid it
    and I fell there again
    breaking the promise
    I once did to you
    Now it does not matter
    how many times I say that I am sorry
    I have said it so many times
    That the word lost its meaning
    I fell once more there
    and I don't feel I can get up again

    Tell me what you guys think please
    Last edited by lebasiara; Mar 02, 2007 at 03:41 PM.
    Nothing less from Pyro ^_^ Great Sig ^_^ THANK YOU!!!!
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  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Slowly dying...

    Quote Originally Posted by lebasiara View Post
    Here I am once again
    I fall once more
    The temptation was to strong
    I could not avoid it
    and I fell there again
    breakinging the promise
    I once did to you
    Now it does not matter
    how many times I say that I am sorry
    I have said it so many times
    That the word lost its meaning
    I fell once more there
    and I don't feel I can get up again

    Tell me what you guys think please
    I like it. Its like falling in the same place over and over. But you cant stop yourself from falling, like the ground draws you in.
    Thats what I got from it anyway.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Slowly dying...

    A poem of hopeless desire. Very nice, leb-chan. Nice one you made, here. Keep it up Oh, and this line:

    breakinging the promise
    o.< fix please. lol.

  4. #4
    Learn, live, laugh, GROW 5 Card Draw Champion, Bubble Trouble Champion, Connect 4 Champion, Long Jump Champion, Collapse Champion, BALLZ! Champion, Rotamania Champion, Rotations Champion, Hishi Champion, Domino Pressure Champion, Fun_game1 Champion, Road Blocks Champion, Puzzle Maniax Champion, Cloud Breakout Champion lebasiara may be famous one day lebasiara's Avatar
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    Wink Re: Slowly dying...

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Wolf View Post
    A poem of hopeless desire. Very nice, leb-chan. Nice one you made, here. Keep it up Oh, and this line:



    o.< fix please. lol.
    Sorry about that!!! he he I didn't realized 'til u told me!!!! It's fixed now!!
    I'm glad u like it
    Nothing less from Pyro ^_^ Great Sig ^_^ THANK YOU!!!!
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    "show me.... THE BEAST!!!" The Beauty and the Beast movie

  5. #5
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Slowly dying...

    Well I'm glad I helped you catch that mistake. Continue to write poetry, lebasiara. You have promising talent.

  6. #6
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    Re: Slowly dying...

    I like it... Keep up the good work! As I read this I thought of my want and desire to do something I've been told not to, and how hard I try not too. But I always end up doing it in the end. It may be a day, weeks, or months, but I always end up doing it again. Like I said, I like it! It made me relate to myself, and I love poems I can do that with. I can't wait to read more of your writings!

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

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    Re: Slowly dying...

    nice poem...i agree with whitey...i hope u continue 2 write more... ^^

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    Re: Slowly dying...

    Really nice poem. Enjoyable. Keep it up.
    I'm not sure if this is a help but maybe you should consider putting in punctuation?
    This is just a choice. Not an offense in anyway. ^ ^


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