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Thread: Small poem

  1. #1
    Newbie Forgotten soul is off to a good start Forgotten soul's Avatar
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    Small poem

    I see the light,
    As I die in the night,
    Numb and motionless,
    Blood drips out.

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    Re: Small poem

    It is difficult to say much by saying little but here you accomplish that. Good work and let's see some more shorts please.

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    Re: Small poem

    I like this alot actualy. Good job on word usage n such lol
    Impossible, theres no such thing as Trolls... Then how do you explain all the dead unicorns?

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    Re: Small poem

    In my opinion from the lines 1-3 were great,
    short and simple and it all worked well.
    I'm not a big fan of the last line though,
    great idea with the blood dripping out, it ties with the whole poem but
    "blood dripping out" the structure doesn't appeal to me.
    i think its just the wording of it.."dripping out"
    possibly change the word "out" to something else ?
    i think the word "out" seems boring to me =/
    and having this short poem should end strongly.

    Great poem though


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