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Reply With Quote!beast (Nov 17, 2009)
I see the light,
As I die in the night,
Numb and motionless,
Blood drips out.
!beast (Nov 17, 2009)
It is difficult to say much by saying little but here you accomplish that. Good work and let's see some more shorts please.
I like this alot actualy. Good job on word usage n such lol
Impossible, theres no such thing as Trolls... Then how do you explain all the dead unicorns?
In my opinion from the lines 1-3 were great,
short and simple and it all worked well.
I'm not a big fan of the last line though,
great idea with the blood dripping out, it ties with the whole poem but
"blood dripping out" the structure doesn't appeal to me.
i think its just the wording of it.."dripping out"
possibly change the word "out" to something else ?
i think the word "out" seems boring to me =/
and having this short poem should end strongly.
Great poem though
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