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Thread: Small Thoughts

  1. #1
    Otaku moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child's Avatar
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    Small Thoughts

    Take me to where the wind will never change.
    Where the rain falls and the seasons stay the same.
    I want to see the dark clouds and the clear blue sky.
    No sorrow to touch me and no tears to cry.
    Where will we go to escape our fate?
    Nowhere to run from our growing hate.

    Where is the Angel God said he would send?
    Was I too worthless to save in the end?
    Where in the darkness can our evil hide?
    Is the light hidden deep within our mind?
    Take me to where the wind will never change.
    Just a small thought and a girl without a name.
    Last edited by moonlight_child; Nov 15, 2007 at 01:22 PM. Reason: change word
    Love is like a gust of wind; it blows and then goes away...
    Without you, my soul goes out of control on the brink of danger...
    My world is already in a violent storm

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Small Thoughts

    Awww.... this is really nice... I really like this poem. It's kinda dark, but at the same time- it has some kind of magical charm, made me feel dreamy even though the place you described isn't really bright and happy.

    You have a spelling mistake in the 5th line- "tears" not "trears" Sorry- that word just made me really confused

    Hmmm... here:
    Where in the darkness can our evil hide?
    Is the light hidden deep within our mind?
    I love how it seems to rhyme even though it does not... it's really kinda magical...

    And the last line is a great way to end this poem... Nothing else to say.... Nice work!!! And I hope to see more ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: Small Thoughts

    Ooh... its short...yet the meaning is deeper than it seems...nicely written...

    I agree with the dreamy effect there... it is dreamy.. but it slowly gets darker...

    I love how it seems to rhyme even though it does not... it's really kinda magical...
    You and magic.. it seems like you firsthand made the poem with no rhyme.. looks like an "accidental" rhyme... naaww.. just kidding... i agree with Lasura there... ^^

    and what a way to end this poem..left with no words and kept the readers wanting more... they'll be wondering about this girl now... ^^

    (the guys would have the first question like.. - Is she "available" jk )

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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    Otaku moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child's Avatar
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    Re: Small Thoughts

    thank you for your input and i hope ya will read more of my poems.
    Love is like a gust of wind; it blows and then goes away...
    Without you, my soul goes out of control on the brink of danger...
    My world is already in a violent storm

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