smile

tupacs_wifey · Aug 18, 2006, 07:04 AM

i found my smile
i found my laugh
i found were i belong
in my mind, in the dark
were i laugh to my self at
every ones innocence
i found my smile
i found my laugh
i found were i belong

N!tr0-Glyc3r1n · Aug 18, 2006, 07:43 AM

good poem but way to short and no stanzas

tupacs_wifey · Aug 18, 2006, 07:49 AM

i know............................

*fayt lingod* · Aug 18, 2006, 08:57 AM

i agree with nitro on this srry.

kedar · Aug 18, 2006, 09:10 AM

Your poem sure does have a good ring to it, but try to elaborate a little further, and work on the structure as well! We all will look forward to see some more..

Notice:

Quote:

Originally Posted by tupacs_wifey

i know............................

Next time, please don't do that! Make your post count!! We all know that you know that, but try to say what you might do to improve next time or something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fayt lingod

i agree with nitro on this srry.

~! Here again, don't just say that you agree with someone, and end your post like this. Offer a little more detailed suggestions.

If I find anymore of these kinds of short posts with no matter in it, infraction will be served, warning, that is.

tupacs_wifey · Aug 19, 2006, 08:35 PM

thanx kedar i'll remember that

-=Broken^Halo=- · Aug 19, 2006, 08:38 PM

Interesing poem.. but I agree its to short.. and the word "were" is the plural past tense thing for "was" .... "I was" = "We were". You should be using the word "Where" ... :P Sorry.. I'm a grammar nazi.. It had good flow and was fairly emotional.. keep it up ^.^

tupacs_wifey · Aug 19, 2006, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=-

Interesing poem.. but I agree its to short.. and the word "were" is the plural past tense thing for "was" .... "I was" = "We were". You should be using the word "Where" ... :P Sorry.. I'm a grammar nazi.. It had good flow and was fairly emotional.. keep it up ^.^

thanx ugh i was horrible in english, and the teacher sucked to

-=Broken^Halo=- · Aug 19, 2006, 08:44 PM

Eh heh.. no worries.. that's why you have us random people from the internet

tupacs_wifey · Aug 19, 2006, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=-

Eh heh.. no worries.. that's why you have us random people from the internet

yea you all r way betta den teacher

*Baal* · Aug 19, 2006, 08:51 PM

I think is cool even if its short its rimes perfectly

Aug 18, 2006, 07:04 AM	#1 (permalink)
tupacs_wifey Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In My own heart Posts: 441 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 697	smile i found my smile i found my laugh i found were i belong in my mind, in the dark were i laugh to my self at every ones innocence i found my smile i found my laugh i found were i belong __________________ HolderOfTheDarkChalice's LiL sis
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Aug 18, 2006, 07:43 AM	#2 (permalink)
N!tr0-Glyc3r1n Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: where ur not Posts: 290 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 403	Re: smile good poem but way to short and no stanzas __________________ thank u SasuraiHell go -=NOOBZ=- clan!
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Aug 18, 2006, 07:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
tupacs_wifey Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In My own heart Posts: 441 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 697	Re: smile i know............................ __________________ HolderOfTheDarkChalice's LiL sis Last edited by kedar; Aug 18, 2006 at 09:05 AM.
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Aug 18, 2006, 08:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
fayt lingod Guardian of Heaven Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: in front of my computer Posts: 1,502 Thanks: 2 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts Credits: 4,155	Re: smile i agree with nitro on this srry. __________________ thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy! click here myspace
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Aug 19, 2006, 08:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
tupacs_wifey Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In My own heart Posts: 441 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 697	Re: smile thanx kedar i'll remember that __________________ HolderOfTheDarkChalice's LiL sis
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Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Aug 19, 2006, 08:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
-=Broken^Halo=- Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Texas,USA Posts: 226 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 260	Re: smile Interesing poem.. but I agree its to short.. and the word "were" is the plural past tense thing for "was" .... "I was" = "We were". You should be using the word "Where" ... :P Sorry.. I'm a grammar nazi.. It had good flow and was fairly emotional.. keep it up ^.^ __________________ Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu\|23
Status: Offline

Aug 19, 2006, 08:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
-=Broken^Halo=- Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Texas,USA Posts: 226 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 260	Re: smile Eh heh.. no worries.. that's why you have us random people from the internet __________________ Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu\|23
Status: Offline

Aug 19, 2006, 08:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
Baal S.E.L - sexy etna lover Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Mayaguez Posts: 1,066 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 309	Re: smile I think is cool even if its short its rimes perfectly __________________ perdoname michelle!
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