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Thread: smile

  1. #1
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    smile

    i found my smile
    i found my laugh
    i found were i belong
    in my mind, in the dark
    were i laugh to my self at
    every ones innocence
    i found my smile
    i found my laugh
    i found were i belong

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

  2. #2
    Otaku N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    good poem but way to short and no stanzas


    thank u SasuraiHell
    go -=NOOBZ=- clan!

  3. #3
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    i know............................
    Last edited by kedar; Aug 18, 2006 at 09:05 AM.

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

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    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    i agree with nitro on this srry.

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

  5. #5
    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    Your poem sure does have a good ring to it, but try to elaborate a little further, and work on the structure as well! We all will look forward to see some more..

    Notice:

    Quote Originally Posted by tupacs_wifey
    i know............................
    Next time, please don't do that! Make your post count!! We all know that you know that, but try to say what you might do to improve next time or something.

    Quote Originally Posted by fayt lingod
    i agree with nitro on this srry.
    ~! Here again, don't just say that you agree with someone, and end your post like this. Offer a little more detailed suggestions.

    If I find anymore of these kinds of short posts with no matter in it, infraction will be served, warning, that is.
    Last edited by kedar; Aug 18, 2006 at 09:47 AM.

  6. #6
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    thanx kedar i'll remember that

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

  7. #7
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: smile

    Interesing poem.. but I agree its to short.. and the word "were" is the plural past tense thing for "was" .... "I was" = "We were". You should be using the word "Where" ... :P Sorry.. I'm a grammar nazi.. It had good flow and was fairly emotional.. keep it up ^.^
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  8. #8
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: smile

    Quote Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=- View Post
    Interesing poem.. but I agree its to short.. and the word "were" is the plural past tense thing for "was" .... "I was" = "We were". You should be using the word "Where" ... :P Sorry.. I'm a grammar nazi.. It had good flow and was fairly emotional.. keep it up ^.^
    thanx ugh i was horrible in english, and the teacher sucked to

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

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