Last lines didn't rhyme (but instead kinda spun off the first lines of the first couple stanzas) ... I think that's great. Is that some sort of fancy poetry format? I'm so ignorant when it comes to sh!t like that.
Honestly... for your writing with intent to be kinda foreign... it sure was successful for you.
I loved seeing this. I could almost see like comic book style drawing accompanying it.
Especially a world itching with lice. So true.... and such a good reason (of many) to justify lighting up.


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