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Thread: Somethings wrong.

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Somethings wrong.

    Something's wrong and I can't find,
    Where I lost my piece of mind.
    All the chaos and all the turmoil
    Really makes my blood fit to boil.
    Friends and family acting cazily
    Making me ask how can this be.
    Who are you and what did you do
    With the people who used to pull me through
    The good times and the bad
    And now you just make me sad
    And wish that I could die
    because all I can do is cry.
    I found my path and I see the light.
    I'll no longer put up with your plight.
    My struggle is hard enough on my own
    I don't need to worry which dog you give a bone
    My heart is broken but my love is true
    If I decide to give it to you
    Please respect that you've been chosen to recive
    Such a special gift from me.
    Don't take it lightly and don't ignore it
    Or I'll take it back in a fit.
    Because I cannot consider you
    If it's not the same thing you would do!

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Somethings wrong.

    Wow, I like this one Chani. As far as poetry is concerned anyway. However it did pull out a plethura of uneasy emotions. Its obviously not a happy poem. Aside from the end, there was something about that ending. I know that as unlikely as it seems... I could very much relate to this:

    Quote Originally Posted by bratling View Post
    My heart is broken but my love is true
    If I decide to give it to you
    Please respect that you've been chosen to recive
    Such a special gift from me.
    Don't take it lightly and don't ignore it
    Or I'll take it back in a fit.
    Because I cannot consider you
    If it's not the same thing you would do!
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Somethings wrong.

    EEEXXXCEELLEENT!! ^_^
    It's hard to tell who this is about at first, but I like it. Keep up the good work!


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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Somethings wrong.

    Wow. Thank you both.

    Actually peach this one isn't so hard for me to believe that you can relate to. It doesn't suprise me at all. And... The ending is kind of... an expression of my bipolarness I guess. I go through ups and downs and I felt like at the end I was starting to stand up for myself. Where as in the begaining I'm just...lost and confused.

    And Sprout, this one is about more then one person. In fact it's about EVERYONE that has a relationship with me at all. But I was thinking of two specific people when I was writing it. It's so weird to see how many people one certian thing can pertain to.

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