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Thread: sometimes

  1. #1
    Banned dark lover is off to a good start dark lover's Avatar
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    sometimes

    sometimes i feel shattered
    brocken inside
    but i try and stop it
    hide it abide
    though i feel hurt
    and my feelings are mixed
    theres one thing
    that i do just for kicks
    i sit in the darkness
    and cry all alone
    those are my only true feelings
    that are actully shown



    i know it sux

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    Punctuation and captalization is a place to start with the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Otaku Lotski is off to a good start
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    Re: sometimes

    revise your poem before posting..

    brocken - broken
    actully - actually

    aside from the mispelled words and kasai's advices..
    your poem is great!
    Cry. hiding those emotions inside is bad for you.

    If you don't like me, it's mind over matter.
    I don't mind and you don't matter

  4. #4
    Banned full blooded virgen 666 is off to a good start full blooded virgen 666's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    its good enough lol im sorry i love ya u know so dont feel bad im sorry

  5. #5
    Banned dark lover is off to a good start dark lover's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    its ok you had nothing to do with it dont worry and stop reading over my shoulder

  6. #6
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    Hey who cares your poem still rocks fixing it or not! At least you can say it right.
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  7. #7
    Banned dark lover is off to a good start dark lover's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    thank you very much i wrote it along time ago though

  8. #8
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: sometimes

    Well, the mistakes have been pointed out, and it would've been better if ti was a bit longer ^_^

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