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Thread: Son of Devil

  1. #1
    Newbie wangwang may be famous one day wangwang may be famous one day wangwang's Avatar
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    Son of Devil



    Hell,
    Does that ring a Bell!!
    No matter how much you yell
    When you hear your deathbell
    its your final fair well.

    Your blood shall be mine,
    Dont worrY, it will be fine.

    When ya blood was red,
    It was me, who shot you in the head.
    Yes, i am sick as HELL!!
    Does that ring a bell?

    You can't escape my agony level,
    You feel the shuddery dishevel.
    YES!! they call me SON OF THE DEVIL.

  2. #2
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
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    Re: Son of Devil

    Fun.....but it shoulda been longer...........The rhythm was good..
    It just needed to be longer and more descriptive..........Nice emotion though.
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Son of Devil

    Hell,
    Does that ring a Bell!!
    No matter how much you yell
    When you hear your deathbell
    its your final fair well.


    I actually like this stanza. There's a book you should read, For Whom the Bell Tolls. Very interesting read.

    Your blood shall be mine,
    Dont worrY, it will be fine.

    When ya blood was red,
    It was me, who shot you in the head.
    Yes, i am sick as HELL!!
    Does that ring a bell?


    That first stanza? It's okay. The second? The first two verses are actually a subject you can make a whole 'nother stanza about.

    You can't escape my agony level,
    You feel the shuddery dishevel.
    YES!! they call me SON OF THE DEVIL.


    Wow.

    You feel the shuddery dishevel.

    Take a moment and think about that sentence.
    Done? First of all, dishevel is a verb when used with an object. Therefore, it kind of cant shudder. Unless you're using personification.
    Seduced by Flesh


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