stars

blackrose92 · Aug 20, 2007, 08:39 AM

the stars can tell you many things
about your life
it is your choice to believe in magic

wonderful things will happen to those who believe
in the powerful potions of Destiny

they say Love is magic to those with gifted eyes
may be whom to conceited lies

Love is like a game
you either win or you lose;
a game so harsh feelings get hurt

no one knows wheter they'll find "Mr.Right" or "Ms.Perfect"
you just have to take a chance
and go for it

we hide our feelings because we feel
unsure about ourselves
about our lives

*RayMe* · Aug 20, 2007, 08:41 AM

Hmm... not bad... but if u could put them in stanza's it would be better.. too hard to read them like this ^^

keep up the good work ^^

iluvmyloser · Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM

good job.^^i agree with ray though,you could use a bit of space between the lines of your poem so it's easy to read better.good poem though but try to get focused on the rhyming you kinda went off it.^^ keep it ↑.....very good description btw.
^^♥~*The Princess*~♥

blackrose92 · Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM

well thank you for the advice^^ ill remember that next time^^

*RayMe* · Aug 20, 2007, 08:56 AM

Hmm...u can change that now though ^^ try clicking on edit..

and put some spaces..
^^

I gotta say...ur poem is quite true..i like the opening ^^

blackrose92 · Aug 20, 2007, 09:07 AM

ok

i put more spaces so i think i fixed it^^lol

Aug 20, 2007, 08:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
blackrose92 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: washington state Posts: 149 Thanks: 7 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 2,258	stars the stars can tell you many things about your life it is your choice to believe in magic wonderful things will happen to those who believe in the powerful potions of Destiny they say Love is magic to those with gifted eyes may be whom to conceited lies Love is like a game you either win or you lose; a game so harsh feelings get hurt no one knows wheter they'll find "Mr.Right" or "Ms.Perfect" you just have to take a chance and go for it we hide our feelings because we feel unsure about ourselves about our lives Last edited by blackrose92; Aug 20, 2007 at 09:05 AM.
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Aug 20, 2007, 08:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,118	Re: stars Hmm... not bad... but if u could put them in stanza's it would be better.. too hard to read them like this ^^ keep up the good work ^^ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
iluvmyloser Àddïctëd tø \|ăüghïñg :) Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ♥>>WHERE y0U WANNA bE??<<♥ Posts: 653 Thanks: 26 Thanked 15 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 10,557	Re: stars good job.^^i agree with ray though,you could use a bit of space between the lines of your poem so it's easy to read better.good poem though but try to get focused on the rhyming you kinda went off it.^^ keep it ↑.....very good description btw. ^^♥~The Princess~♥ __________________ ♥~Thanks Eve for this on my Bday!Bow down to your royal highness~♥ Join Animal Wonders.. <-- Click it!!!^^
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Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
blackrose92 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: washington state Posts: 149 Thanks: 7 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 2,258	Re: stars well thank you for the advice^^ ill remember that next time^^
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Aug 20, 2007, 08:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,118	Re: stars Hmm...u can change that now though ^^ try clicking on edit.. and put some spaces.. ^^ I gotta say...ur poem is quite true..i like the opening ^^ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Aug 20, 2007, 09:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
blackrose92 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: washington state Posts: 149 Thanks: 7 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 2,258	Re: stars ok i put more spaces so i think i fixed it^^lol
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