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Old Aug 20, 2007, 08:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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stars

the stars can tell you many things
about your life
it is your choice to believe in magic

wonderful things will happen to those who believe
in the powerful potions of Destiny

they say Love is magic to those with gifted eyes
may be whom to conceited lies

Love is like a game
you either win or you lose;
a game so harsh feelings get hurt

no one knows wheter they'll find "Mr.Right" or "Ms.Perfect"
you just have to take a chance
and go for it

we hide our feelings because we feel
unsure about ourselves
about our lives

Last edited by blackrose92; Aug 20, 2007 at 09:05 AM.
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 08:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
108 Highscores
1 )3^^( )N
 
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Re: stars

Hmm... not bad... but if u could put them in stanza's it would be better.. too hard to read them like this ^^ keep up the good work ^^
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
7 Highscores
Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :)
 
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Re: stars

good job.^^i agree with ray though,you could use a bit of space between the lines of your poem so it's easy to read better.good poem though but try to get focused on the rhyming you kinda went off it.^^ keep it ↑.....very good description btw.
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 08:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: stars

well thank you for the advice^^ ill remember that next time^^
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 08:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
108 Highscores
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Re: stars

Hmm...u can change that now though ^^ try clicking on edit.. and put some spaces..
^^

I gotta say...ur poem is quite true..i like the opening ^^
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 09:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: stars

ok i put more spaces so i think i fixed it^^lol
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