Thread: ***** story

Why thak you Rayme! Opps i myspeled it my bad! lol! well any way the making it more mature part was good advice i was looking for a word the other day and that would have been it, I liked the flow too, not so much though it was toi the point that it became a story, so i had to shorten it, and i did try to put in a little ryme, here and there, but I couldnt get it through out the poem with out changing the poems phrases its self, but hey a poem doesent always have to ryme! ^.^

LOL I agree with everyone it is very good but watch out for grammer ans spelling, also as ray pointed out, the hanging ending is a good idea. Keep it up highteck I look farward to seeing more from you.

Yeah about the ending i'm not sure if i should put the second part up, its about her past and it kind of has more foul language in it! I know, why dont i edit the language out? Because then it would chage the whole part of the sotory as a whole, i already thought of that, but I think i will just leave people hanging on this one, i dont want to get in to trouble for it. if any of you have suggestions on what i should do about this, that would be help full! thank you all again!