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Thread: Suffocating

  1. #1
    Newbie LadyJuliaHale is off to a good start LadyJuliaHale's Avatar
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    Suffocating

    How can I break from this life?
    How is it that I cannot breathe?
    Please, do not take that knife,
    And stab me while I seethe.

    I cannot break out of this glass box,
    As you keep me here.
    As I listen to the ticking of the clocks,
    I know that I will have to wait another year.

    Tell me what I can do,
    Tell me how to fix this.
    As I wait for years to be with you,
    I can only imagine the taste of your kiss.

    Through thick and thin,
    As the spider weaves her web,
    I cannot seem to break from this skin,
    As my heart begins to ebb.

    Through the darkness and the pain,
    I feel suffocated,
    As I search for the falling rain,
    While I'm being advocated.

    Please, help me break from these chains,
    Of suffocation.
    The blood in my heart spreads coldly through my veins,
    As I break through this damnation.

    Will you break down the walls of suffocation,
    As my heart begins to heal?
    Even through the hesitation,
    I still know how you feel.
    I'm standing in the dark calling your name, But when you don't answer,
    I realized everyday it's the same.

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    Re: Suffocating

    This is a good poem. And godd what a rigid and difficult rhyme mesure to keep through the whole thing. This is a monster sized poem. I also adore how you used a spider in the context with your heart. Certain creastures just give themselves to interpretation as villians. Sharks, vulture, spiders, and many more are thought of as evil, but your spider is a she and it is creating something complex like your heart. This piece is moving and beautiful, good job.

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    Re: Suffocating

    very awesome poem and i can relate to this pain
    ut makes death a welcmome visitor because the
    wait for them seems to make the hours seem like days.

    i like this poem a lot maybe some one will break the walls
    but the the air keeps getting thinner maybe the wall will
    br broken soon who knows but this is what get from the
    poem.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    Newbie LadyJuliaHale is off to a good start LadyJuliaHale's Avatar
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    Re: Suffocating

    Thank you guys for your kind words! It definitely is hard keeping with the Rhyming measure. I just wrote this poem in like...2 seconds.
    I'm standing in the dark calling your name, But when you don't answer,
    I realized everyday it's the same.

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