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Thread: Summer Seas

  1. #1
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    Summer Seas

    The summer has sprung,
    leaves wither and fall from
    the trees.

    As you throw your cap into the air
    my heart jumps through seas filled with memories.

    Your face lying next to mine
    flashes across my mind.

    I can see your smile fading into
    the crowd, my hand releases from yours.

    An ocean forms in my eyes
    framing chocolate brown,
    though I am still glad.

    Let the light you shine return to me,
    through and through the dark times ahead that we may dread.
    Dear Dinah...

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    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Summer Seas

    I don't understand. What happened?

    It's as if it all happened in three seconds, I haven't even found time to recollect myself.

    Nice, but ... unfinished. If you catch my drift.

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    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    Re: Summer Seas

    Yeah I understand what you are saying...it's about my boyfriend graduating. He will soon be going to college, and I will be here instead of with him.


    Oh and by the way...if you look farther down on the poems you will see more of my poetry no one has commented on.
    Dear Dinah...

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    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Summer Seas

    Detail, woman!! So much more detail, emotion and time put into the poem would have made it golden!

    *Tips for next time.

  5. #5
    Otaku OfeliasFire is off to a good start OfeliasFire's Avatar
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    Re: Summer Seas

    Thank you! I'm always up for new tips ^-^...i'll be sure to comment on some of your poems tomorrow...but for now its time for me to go to sleep...last day of school! yay.
    Dear Dinah...

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