That was a very interesting short poem. It pretty much described the purpose of that yellow ball we se every day rising in the horizon. Keep it up man.
The setting sun..
Orange and red always to run
Across our ocean skies
Scattered and tattered
Seamless to matter
As the calling sings to our eyes
Drawn we are
To the blue skins scar
Where darkness comes to light
As beautiful a hue
Beautiful as could be inside you
Bathed in warmth until the night
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"Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."
That was a very interesting short poem. It pretty much described the purpose of that yellow ball we se every day rising in the horizon. Keep it up man.
Well this was nice and I must say the descriptions were good enough to make me imagine those things and the word use is very fine too. But... I didn't like the fact that I could feel that you have tried very hard to make it rhyme, it makes reading it... not so nice. Rhymes are not the most important thing, the feeling is more important. And the flow too... the stranzas are so short that I felt like jumping all the time and not lying, watching the sunset...
Well I hope to see more, k? ^^ Nice work nevertheless...
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