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Thread: Tears of the battlefield

  1. #1
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    Tears of the battlefield

    Tears of the battlefield...

    The wide green spaces,
    making waves with the help of the soft wind.
    A small canal of crystal clear water.
    Birds chirping happily and every moves accordingly.

    Moments later...

    The ground shakes and earth rumbles.
    They march deciplined like ants.
    Steadily they move forward.
    The thousands of foot hits the ground.

    Mercilessly...

    The war drums sounded,
    they are ready now.
    Steps slowed and the marching ends.
    Silence struck the whole land.

    Fanfare...

    Far to the horizon,
    more appears in red armor and flags.
    Wielding their weapons in the air.
    Proud and motivated.

    The earth shooks again.

    The two forces moves near.
    Red and blue collides.
    One by one the flags fall.
    Blood and flesh colours the floor.

    Disgusting...

    The battlefield was left the same way.
    The victors trots back with the wounded.
    Losers stay as food for the crows.
    The slashing and brutality ends.

    In the end...

    Green wide space burnt black.
    Wind is now smoke filled with rotting smell.
    The small river is now running with red liquid.
    No chirping can be heard now...
    but only hundreds of cawing and flapping of wings....



    Ok.. what u guys think? ^^

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  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    It's nice... something very different... and I like it very much... Will do as a good poem to gain inspiration from when describing war scenes in a story... hmm... my first war scene in a story in English is still to come...

    Nice work, I really want to see more!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    Thank you laura ^^ u truly motivate me... i will write more.. ^^

    It's different.. ic... hmm... ^^ trying new perspectives i guess...

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  4. #4
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    I think that this would make a great story Rayme. I have to say that the poem was good but........ needs to be gore lots and lots of gore.
    Last edited by ice viper; Aug 12, 2007 at 07:19 AM. Reason: add more

  5. #5
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    Gorge...can u explain that? ^^ whats that?

    hmm... it's a bit weak for a poem :/ sheesh

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  6. #6
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    Wow. Very well done. The imagery was priceless. I could see and even hear the words as I read them. Bravo! Encore!
    ... Not Ever Again...

  7. #7
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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    Lol peachy ^^ ty... lets march together and watch the blood feud

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    Re: Tears of the battlefield

    Red troops & blue troops?
    Obsessed fans of the "Red Vs Blue" mini movies?
    "The Reds are better, & allways will!"
    "Blues rule. Die!"

    Sorry, couldn't help it...

    Nice work there. Interesting.

    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

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