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Thread: Tears Won’t Come

  1. #9
    Newbie friend_of_fish may be famous one day friend_of_fish may be famous one day friend_of_fish's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Tears Won’t Come

    Quote Originally Posted by Immortal Warrior
    It's a little rocky in places. I think if the first and third lines of each stanza rhymed, it might flow a little better, but that aside it's a beautiful poem. Very real, very down to earth, something I can understand if you catch my meaning. It was rough around the edges and I'd fix it up but I'm really out of it myself at the moment. The errors I found are nothing huge, but still noticeable. I'll point them out sometime maybe. Good poem, very deep.
    from reading some of your other much more critical posts I'm quite honored from this post.
    WHATISTHATBIGLONGBUTTONONTHEBOTTOMOFTHEKEYBOREDFOR !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  2. #10
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    ilike this poem i went through this myself
    a few years ago i am just now acceptung it
    and letting my tears flow this poem really
    makes alot of since to me thanks for the read
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #11
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    thanks alot im glad you could relate but im sorry for your loss
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  4. #12
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    thank you and your welcome your really good at writing
    poems
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #13
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    thanks again
    I actually am not very good unless im feeling an intense emotion
    WHATISTHATBIGLONGBUTTONONTHEBOTTOMOFTHEKEYBOREDFOR !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  6. #14
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    I like it. Its a good poem. I'm sorry about your grandfather
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  7. #15
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    oh ok well you have some awesome emotions in your writing then
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #16
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
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    Re: Tears Won’t Come

    You must stay strong.........If you don't, that is invitin ppl to stab you in the back........To cry is to be weak........and that cannot be accepted......At least that's what i tell myself.
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

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