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Reply With Quotewow simple amazing.. such deep sarrow.....it brings back old memories for me too. this poem is excellent and i do hope you write more ill keep a eye out for them. *a fan of yours now and forever*
They all think its funny. I bet they do.
I bet you they laugh at the things I go through.
But, they just don't know, What I know is true.
The laughter would cease, If only they knew.
A haze of smoke, the thrill of the game.
A spew of putrid, hateful names.
Held captive by pain, I entered his brain
And they all just sit there, laughing...
While they all sit, and poke, and prod.
I feel as though I'm fighting God.
I'd welcome death with a friendly nod.
While a frozen heart waits to be thawed.
Last night my mind went for a ride.
As I talked for hours to the life inside.
Unheld as It cried, screaming "I should have died."
And they all just sat there, laughing...
My invisible king has an empty throne.
So, I struggle to build my family a home.
A battle meant for two, is fought alone.
The nightly chills that embrace my bones.
If I don’t make it in time, my heart will break.
Though, I can’t seem to gauge how much time it will take.
So I drowned in a lake, full of grins of the fake.
Because, they all kept on laughing…
... Not Ever Again...
wow simple amazing.. such deep sarrow.....it brings back old memories for me too. this poem is excellent and i do hope you write more ill keep a eye out for them. *a fan of yours now and forever*
I am the God Of Death, Reaper of the souls, hunter of the darkness......
http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_doorway/index.php
this is my site come and see me there sometime!
The rhyming isnt needed. In fact ,the poem would be better without the rhymes.
Seduced by Flesh
I have a very hard time NOT rhyming my poems. Its like a security blanket. When I write without rhyme, I never seemed to feel satisfied with them. Its a hurdle I've been attepmting to jump for years.Originally Posted by Kasai
... Not Ever Again...
I really like this poem.
Actually, I think it seems better with the rhyming.. [Just don't think Kasai really likes it! =P]
If you can write better with rhyimg then you should stick with it! Although challenging yourself is good too..
Try and use different rhyimg pattersn though, like ABAB..Not just AAABBB.. If you get me.. hehe
I love the repition of the last line! I like how you used different tenses too, it made me like the poem even more.. erm keep it up!
TY Sasurai for the lovely sig!*
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