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Thread: They All

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    They All

    They all think its funny. I bet they do.
    I bet you they laugh at the things I go through.
    But, they just don't know, What I know is true.
    The laughter would cease, If only they knew.
    A haze of smoke, the thrill of the game.
    A spew of putrid, hateful names.
    Held captive by pain, I entered his brain
    And they all just sit there, laughing...

    While they all sit, and poke, and prod.
    I feel as though I'm fighting God.
    I'd welcome death with a friendly nod.
    While a frozen heart waits to be thawed.
    Last night my mind went for a ride.
    As I talked for hours to the life inside.
    Unheld as It cried, screaming "I should have died."
    And they all just sat there, laughing...

    My invisible king has an empty throne.
    So, I struggle to build my family a home.
    A battle meant for two, is fought alone.
    The nightly chills that embrace my bones.
    If I don’t make it in time, my heart will break.
    Though, I can’t seem to gauge how much time it will take.
    So I drowned in a lake, full of grins of the fake.
    Because, they all kept on laughing…
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Otaku god of death may be famous one day god of death may be famous one day god of death's Avatar
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    Re: They All

    wow simple amazing.. such deep sarrow.....it brings back old memories for me too. this poem is excellent and i do hope you write more ill keep a eye out for them. *a fan of yours now and forever*
    I am the God Of Death, Reaper of the souls, hunter of the darkness......
    http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_doorway/index.php
    this is my site come and see me there sometime!

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: They All

    The rhyming isnt needed. In fact ,the poem would be better without the rhymes.
    Seduced by Flesh


  4. #4
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: They All

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai View Post
    The rhyming isnt needed. In fact ,the poem would be better without the rhymes.
    I have a very hard time NOT rhyming my poems. Its like a security blanket. When I write without rhyme, I never seemed to feel satisfied with them. Its a hurdle I've been attepmting to jump for years.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  5. #5
    Otaku Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me's Avatar
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    Re: They All

    I really like this poem.

    Actually, I think it seems better with the rhyming.. [Just don't think Kasai really likes it! =P]

    If you can write better with rhyimg then you should stick with it! Although challenging yourself is good too..

    Try and use different rhyimg pattersn though, like ABAB..Not just AAABBB.. If you get me.. hehe

    I love the repition of the last line! I like how you used different tenses too, it made me like the poem even more.. erm keep it up!

    TY Sasurai for the lovely sig!*

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