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Thread: Thirst

  1. #1
    Newbie Silver Eyes is off to a good start Silver Eyes's Avatar
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    Thirst

    My head is pounding,
    Hands are shaking,
    Nervous twitching,
    My body's burning...

    I NEED to feed.

    My need for it has become intolerable to the point of self consumption.
    My body is basically eating itself....

    Deep red,
    Thick as honey,
    Salty sweet,
    Nourishment of the damned and the cursed.

    I'm not safe to be around when I'm hungry.
    I can see your blood pumping,
    Hear your heart beating,
    Smell your scent from across the room....

    I'm not evil...

    Just feared,
    Misunderstood,
    Hated,
    And a

    Vampyre.....
    Hello and goodbye is like saying forever and never...

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    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: Thirst

    hmm i have to give it to you, you have a couple intense lines in there with some powerful imagery. Next time with the beginning of your poems make sure it has an impact on the reader i was quite bored in the beginning until midway through. Hope that helps
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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    Newbie Silver Eyes is off to a good start Silver Eyes's Avatar
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    Re: Thirst

    Quote Originally Posted by blackrose92 View Post
    hmm i have to give it to you, you have a couple intense lines in there with some powerful imagery. Next time with the beginning of your poems make sure it has an impact on the reader i was quite bored in the beginning until midway through. Hope that helps
    It was an on the spot thing....
    I'm usually better at them.
    Hello and goodbye is like saying forever and never...

  4. #4
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: Thirst

    Quote Originally Posted by Silver Eyes View Post
    It was an on the spot thing....
    I'm usually better at them.
    usually 'on the the spot things' shows if you have talent or not
    again it was an enjoyable read : )
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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