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Thread: Thoughts on the past.

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    Thoughts on the past.

    The things I could have shown you,
    The life we could have had,
    The love I cherished for you,
    Before everything went bad.

    A constant reminder of how things forever change,
    My untrusting heart will never, ever be the same.
    Anger, violance, malice and jealousy,
    Reminders that people are often, exactly what they seem to be.

    So call me paranoid, and crazy better still.
    Because my vision of love, was something you couldn't see.
    So you ignored the best I had in me.
    And I tried to give it to you still.

    I pushed and prodded and tried so hard not to be,
    The dark evil little girl that screams inside of me.
    But in the end, the pain, it won, and here she came
    Her cage undone.

    Now into her neat little box she won't go,
    And that's when I started to scream and throw,
    Everything I found in sight, because at night,
    All I could do was think of what wasn't at all right.

    Lust, and love, and trust unrequited,
    The flames that You ignited,
    Ignored and neglected despite my attempts to show,
    That even though I didn't know,

    How to trust, that I could learn!
    But my feelings you did spurn.
    Everything I tried to give to you,
    Was and would have never been enough of a due.

    Because of what people would have thought,
    And old obsession never lost.
    Even though he Never saw,
    The beauty, no matter how raw.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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    Re: Thoughts on the past.

    Wow! This is good! I'm kinda confused though. This poem here kinda drifts back and forth from topic to topic. Is this aimed at someone in particular? I like your structure and good ups on the rhyming! Keep up the good job, hon! Much luv! ~S


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    Re: Thoughts on the past.

    Mm...topic is generally the same, just back and forth thoughts on it I suppose. different pieces I guess. I'm glad you liked it. I was kinda pleased with the way it came out.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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    Re: Thoughts on the past.

    I like the poem a lot. However, some parts fall apart because it doesn't flow with the rest of the stanza. Possibly making sure your endings rhyme, and you basically have the same or near the same amount of syllables in each line.
    I really felt the emotion of the poem and think you are really good. Keep it up.

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