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Thread: Thoughts running through my head (LONG)

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    Thoughts running through my head (LONG)

    Thoughts Running Through My Head

    I’m scared and all alone
    I hate being alone
    I can’t take it
    I hear voices when I’m alone
    I want out
    I can’t breath
    I feel sick
    My head feels as though its going to split
    Too many things to think about
    I try not to think
    My brain wont shut off
    Too many thoughts I guess
    Too many bad things.
    I’ve done too many things in my past
    I’m sorry
    But sorry doesn’t cut it
    I’ve hurt too many people
    I love Kyle more than anything else on earth
    He is the only thing that keeps me going
    If it wasn’t for him I couldn’t survive
    He is my life, He is my world
    He is my sanity
    I cry
    I cry deep inside
    I can’t seem to let it out
    I’ve failed
    I’ve failed him
    I’ve just plain failed
    If I could only cry
    I would feel much better
    If I could only cry
    I wouldn’t feel the way I do
    I can’t think
    My mind is like scrambled eggs
    I’m just a nobody
    Why can’t I do anything right
    They say those who can’t trust can’t be trusted
    Then does that mean I can’t be
    I get mad
    I get jealous
    I get totally pissed off
    I don’t get mad at him
    I’m mad at myself
    I hate myself
    I’m worthless
    I love him to death but I’m still jealous
    Does that men I can’t be trusted
    Who the **** knows
    He doesn’t trust me
    Does that me he can’t be trusted
    Who the **** knows
    I sure wish I could get some answers
    I’m tired of living in the dark
    God I wish someone could talk to me
    I pray to you every night to make me a better person
    Yet I am still not good enough
    Is this as good as it gets
    I suppose with my past I much deserve much worse
    I don’t deserve what I have
    I don’t deserve Kyle
    He needs someone who can give him what he wants
    He needs someone who will treat him good
    He needs someone better than me
    Why god, why are you punishing him for my mistakes
    He is a wonderful person
    Who hasn’t done anything wrong
    Why do you punish him for my past life
    I want to be so right for him
    I want him to be proud of me
    I want him to love me
    I want him to always be there
    But I push him away
    My heart aches
    I love him so much
    All I want is for him to know
    I love him
    God I wish he was here
    When he is gone I feel weird
    I feel a part of me is missing
    All the good is gone
    He is my good
    He is my happiness
    Without him the bad takes over
    I get mad
    My heart aches
    God I miss Him
    He needed to go away I know this
    I want him to go
    And do his job
    I want him to be happy
    Sometimes I hope he would find someone
    So I could hunt her down and kill hurt
    No.. I don’t mean that
    If it makes him happy to be with her
    Then so be it
    I have to stop
    I’m getting mad
    To think he is with someone else
    God that pisses me off
    But he needed to go
    To blow off some steam
    I love him very much
    I love him so much
    And all I want for him to do
    Is know that I love him
    And always will

    -Dedicated to the one I am always thinking of and the one I miss so very much.. My your heart and soul know that I love you and that I'm waiting here for you. I love you always and forever-
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Re: Thoughts running through my head (LONG)

    Cheer up Jamie, don't let something like that make you feel down and sad.

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