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Thread: Time of dieing

  1. #1
    Otaku Sarentai Kyoukan is off to a good start Sarentai Kyoukan's Avatar
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    Time of dieing

    sO i finally got over my writer''s block and i wrote a poem ^_^ , and the titles time of dieing , coz its like talking bout the last second before dieing so...and i felt like putting it up X) .I tried making it in to shorter sentences but failed to do so hope its good lol x)


    Evaporate away , O regretful soul! -to the zenith of heaven
    And let thyself be carried to the skies by the Raven

    Curl up amongst the closeby clouds and let them creep
    towards you to cover up the wounds that run deep

    Let thy crimson burdened blood spill , and redden the sky
    while the sinking sun scorches thy heart so dry

    And the magnolian moon will gleam the ashes of your soul
    while the whispering wind caries them away with the touch of a ghoul


    pS The raven is supposed to be the angel of death , i used some kind of symbolism that i cant explain XP

    So do u like it ?

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    Newbie kuchki is off to a good start
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    Re: Time of dieing

    o.0 0.o o.o 0.0 o.0.o
    its really good actually. and i got the symbolism but one thing that worries me.
    the touch of a ghoul...
    it just doesnt seem to fit in nor rhyme with soul.
    but overall great.

    my own.

  3. #3
    Otaku Sarentai Kyoukan is off to a good start Sarentai Kyoukan's Avatar
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    Re: Time of dieing

    Thanks ^_^!!
    actually the "touch of ghoul"issupoosed to describe the iwnd it self , like if a ghost touches you the max youll feel is a breeze ...kinda like that =D . and the last bit was an eye ryhme thats why it didnt really rhyme . Thanks again for the feedbacl ^_^

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    Newbie kuchki is off to a good start
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    Re: Time of dieing

    aha i understand now.
    but yeah i like the general idea of the poem and now i have some inspiration for my next signature on photoshop xD

    my own.

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    Otaku Sarentai Kyoukan is off to a good start Sarentai Kyoukan's Avatar
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    Re: Time of dieing

    glad to hear that XD .and good luck with the siggy =D

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